mockingme

Impian.

2010-01-28T03:55:00.003+02:00

Telah tiba masa untuk aku kan pergi

meninggalkan kamu di sini

Telah tiba waktu untuk aku kan terbang

belari mengejar impian

Kau pun tahu

Aku hanya manusia biasa yang punya cinta

Kau pun tahu

Aku pergi bukan untuk selamanya

Kau pun tahu

Dunia menunggu kita kejar cita-cita

Tapi aku tak tahu

Kapan kita berjumpa

adakah engkau seperti seadanya?

Telah tiba masa untuk terus bermimpi

mencari malam-malam yang sepi

Telah tiba waktu untuk memetik bintang

yang berkelip cerah bersinar

Saya tak nak bergerak. Bukan saya tak boleh, tapi memang saya tak mahu.

2009-12-09T05:50:00.004+02:00

Going back to the corner where I first saw you

Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I’m not gonna move

Got some words on cardboard, Got your picture in my hand

Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am?

Some try to hand me money, they don’t understand

I’m not broke I’m just a broken hearted man

I know it makes no sense, but what else can i do

How can I move on when I’m still in love with you

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that your missing me

And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be

Thinking maybe you’d come back here to the place that we’d meet

And you’d see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I’m not moving

I’m not moving

Policeman says son you cant stay here

I say there’s someone I’m waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year

Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,

If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that your missing me

And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be

Thinking maybe you’d come back here to the place that we’d meet

And you’d see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I’m not moving

I’m not moving

People talk about the guy

Who's waiting in on a girl, oh whoa

There are no holes in his shoes

But a big hole in his world

Maybe I’ll get famous for the man who can’t be moved

And maybe you won't mean to but you’ll see me on the news

And you’ll come running to the corner

'Cause you’ll know it's just for you

I’m the man who can't be moved

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that your missing me

And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be

Thinking maybe you’d come back here to the place that we’d meet

And you’d see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I’m not moving

(Cause’ if one day you wake up and find that your missing me)

I’m not moving

(And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be)

I’m not moving

(Thinking maybe you’d come back here to the place that we’d meet)

I’m not moving

(Oh you see me waiting for you on the corner of the street)

Going back to the corner were I first saw you

Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I’m not gonna move

Dakwat pen habis.

2009-12-03T05:19:00.001+02:00

I'm waiting for you, you know.

Dakwat pen habis.

2009-12-03T05:19:00.000+02:00

I'm waiting for you, you know.

bila jalan-jalan kuala lumpur, dan sesat tiba-tiba.

2009-09-16T20:00:00.003+02:00

cerita hari ini bermula begini. kami anak jantan tahun empat pelajar perubatan alex telah mengadakan satu perjumpaan berbuka puasa di mid valley. well kami plan lah. dipendekkan cerita, ada lah org2 yg lambat datang. jadi kami hanya berbuka di foodcourt berbekalkan donut big apple dan juga air teh ais. dan rokok lah, macam biasa. then in the midst of dinner tu, kami telah mengeluarkan beberapa option utk makan besar. antaranya :

ke putrajaya
ke nz klcc
ke bukit bintang
ke shah alam

dan option yg telah diambil adalah option 1. ke putrajaya. kerana saudara sopai, yakni ajk kebajikan PERUBATAN Alexandria nak belanja makan waterfront di situ. dan saya sangat seronok, kerana pada malam sebelumnya saya belajar jalan2 di kuala lumpur pada pukul 3pagi lepas main futsal. dengan siapa? biarlah rahsia. jadi saya aplikasi lah pelajaran saya pada hari sebelumnya, saya dari mid valley city tu, saya amek exit volvo, masuk lebuhraya persekutuan ataupun nama popularnya di radio pukul 5 ptg Federal Highway. di situ saya ingat kata2 teman saya semalam, ada exit kecil ke lebuhraya mahameru atau nama singkatannya MRR1. jadi dari federal highway saya masuk ke lebuh raya mahameru. terus ke jalan tun razak, dan terus lagi terus masuk ke lebuhraya MEX, atau dikenali KL-P highway oleh org tua2.

saya jadi tour guide la, sebab dalam kereta ada org JB, ada org Damansara, ada org TTDI. semua tak tahu jalan KL. saya pun berlagak lah. kawan tanya, akleh tu apa, duke tu apa, ini apa. smart tunnel pun macam jakun tak pernah tahu. ceh ceh. akleh stands for Ampang Ulu Kelang Elevated Highway. highway ni berguna dari rumah saya, terus masuk parking KLCC. 10 minit perjalanan. woohoo. Duke pula is Duta Ulu Kelang Expressway. best jugak highway ni. boleh jugak dari rumah saya terus masuk parking the curve di mutiara damansara. 25 minit la lebih kurang. then smart tunnel tu apa semua google sendiri.

ok berbalik pada cerita, aku masuk MEX highway, bawak 140 macam biasa. sebab highway tu best. then sampai lah putrajaya. janji nak jumpa dekat masjid di jabatan perdana menteri. yg ada roundabout besar tu. then sesat la kan. masuk terlepas kena u turn semua. masuk terowong mana entah. lepas tu sampai juga. masa tu sopai dan amri dah sampai lama dah. kitorg masuk mex tu diorg dah sampai. kami macam biasa la, menipu, cakap dalam mex lagi 20 minit sampai. padahal baru kat jalan tun razak. then tu la yg bawak laju2 tu. haha.

then sopai kata waterfront tutup. lepas tu well, plan macam sial pegi bangi pulak. jumpa pokyan dan miji kms. sopai dengan amri ni dua2 bawak motor. so diorg lead la kereta aku. macam babi diorg racing. then aku sesat la kan, dah diorg laju sangat. sesat dalam bangi. lalu uniten masuk kampung abu bakar baginda ke apa entah, something like that. then sopai la datang mengangkut. kami menunggu sopai tu dalam 20 minit la. berbekalkan karipap beli kat mid valley, dua large coffee bean ultimate, dan juga rokok marlboro menthol yg silver tu. then sampai. last2 kitorg makan dekat village view ke apa ntah, sebab kedai rusun or dusun tu tutup. dengar rusun, teringat kawan dan lawan di makassar. hihi. masa ni pukul 11 malam. berbuka jam 720 kot. pukul 11 malam baru makan besar. adventure gila.

then nak balik pula. aku perlu menghantar kawan ke TTDI dan juga damansara. so dari bangi aku lalu tol sungai besi, then terus masuk lebuhraya sprint. best gila. aku first time kot lalu tempat macam ni. nasib baik saudara sean punya mykad ada touch n go. senang. then sampai ttdi, sampai damansara, aku pun balik lah. nak balik aku main hentam je.

masuk penchala link balik. exit bukit kiara. aku dah cuak. tapi aku terus je. jalan jelah. masuk terowong mana2 entah ni. jam dah pukul satu pagi. lantak lah.

tiba-tiba, ada signboard pegi ulu kelang. aku dah mula senyum. ikut la lane signboard tu. lepas tu, nampak signboard setiawangsa. lagi la senyum. radio kete dah nyanyi lagu yovie dan nuno - menjaga hati. aku pun gila babi melalak lagu tu. then nampak signboard setiawangsa-wangsa maju-jalan enggang. memang senyum sampai telinga.

signboard berikutnya - susur keluar melalui DUKE.

aku senyum sampai telinga.

terima kasih duke. aku sayang kau.

adventure hari ni boleh dikatakan sebegini. dari BB ke BBB ke kampung BB. bukit bintang, bandar baru bangi, kampung bakar baginda. haha. sesat. nasib baik sampai rumah. kalau tak, takdelah aku menulis ni kan.

ahh sahur. esok kerja lagi. oh ya, aku bawak choc chip sebalang, habis ditelan kawan2. sedap, kata mereka.

hihi :)

bila result exam sangat memuaskan hati.

2009-09-09T16:37:00.005+02:00

final exam results for third year students had been announced yesterday.

i got good results. alhamdullah. allahalmighty.

i got mix As and Bs. i got 5 B+. it only take about 5 marks to jump those grades into an A. i'm aiming for a 3.5. hopefully. but i'm sure if i got pass three, it would be more than satisfactory.

hurm.

but i guess i'm doing great. an A grade here in alexandria university equals about 95/100 in marks of a subject. gila kan? which means, if a person tends to get 4.0 in cgpa, fairly speaking that he/she would be having 95/100 in marks on every subject. well there's one or two in my batch who gets those kinds of results. i ADORE you guys.

well i'm happy, and of course there's always a story after that kind of success.

one of my fellow colleagues who yet studies with me in egypt came all the way from bangi to KL, just to get out to breathe all the way in a new atmosphere. i picked him up, then later we had our break-fast at kenny rogers jusco AU2. with one more of our friends. the bangi guy is called pokyan, whilst the other one was abu.

we chat on about how the hell would we spend the rest of the night together. then, we called all of our fellowship boys who took medicine with us in alexandria, which who lives in klang valley, of course. then we crossed up to a suprisingly exciting idea, which was futsal. hell, it had been ages since i played futsal here in malaysia.

sadly there's only 8 person in counting. then we started of calling all of our own personal friends, and meet up at sportsplanet ampang.

macam2 hal jugak masa calling diorang ni.

well it turns out the guys'd been far more than expected. 16-17, i think. socializing lah, apa lagi. yg ini kenal ini, kenal itu.

then we main main lah bola. apa lagi.

well we had a very good of sweet, and sweats. new friends too. which is very good.

and yet after 2 hours of kicks, we had our supper or sahur at suzy's corner. a kedai mamak not far from there.

i had a watermelon juice, and nasi goreng pataya. and they charged me freakin rm16. sorry izham, budak alex nicknamed kau suzy. hahaha.

ayat tak boleh belah.

"kau u-turn, kau nampak, kau masuk."

and then if there's nothing ever happened, we're gonna have some futsal some more in coming thursday. yay.

******

and today i shop at mid valley with some friends.

shopping raya.

got that khakis-like-colored blazer from zara (which danish said i look like a boss while wearing it, and most people said that i look better in that kind of color rather than those dark-toned colored), a sweater and a jersey from topman. beratus. haih.

luckily aidilfitri/duit raya is coming next week. hahah.

gotta save for that lavish shirt from AX for pre-clinical graduation dinner this coming october!

p/s : kalau tak mampu beli topman punya shirt jela. separuh harga dari AX. pakai voucher birthday arman pula. muraah. hihi.

in psychology, this is called a level 4 defense mechanism.

2009-09-01T19:23:00.007+02:00

membawa taylor serata kuala lumpur. 2008 kot.
masih berjam tangan nike dan berbangle merah. kasut reebok. baju pun kartun.
masih mentah.

hi. i'm taylor. and you are?
oh belakang dia ada paperbag body shop. ada paper flower lagi. malu lah. ahaha.

kali ini 2009.
membawa jane berjalan sekitar cheras.
sudah berjam tangan casio, dan berselipar adidas classic. baju pun dah ada mesej2 motivasi.
sudah matang.

hai. saya jane. kenapa awak pandang2 saya? awak suka saya eh? ee. tak malu.

(biasalah, jane kan gedik2 manja sikit)

sorry lah jane, saya boleh bagi awak micro cube je untuk menyanyi. jangan marah. nanti saya kaya saya belikan awak amplifier marshall atau fender yg silver tu yg besar tu. kan? mama pun mesti tak marah sebab amp tu cantik sangat boleh buat hiasan rumah.

******

well back to the main theme for this post. sebenarnya saya malas nak drag gambar ke bawah. ahaha.

UNTITLED 3

when i'm sad
when i'm down
there you were you stood me up from the ground

when it rains
when it storms
you'd just stopped and you let them be gone

i'm with all my my might
through my sleepless nights
wondering when you'll be up to the fight

you and me
together we'll be
running and carefree
yeah..

well to my bestest friends saya dah mail kat korang. korang comment lagi tau! macam biasa lirik memang mentah gila. memang tak matang. haha. sorry. saya memang nak read a lot cuti ni, tapi banyak tengok tv lah. ahaha. if nak dgr mintak lah ye. well i shudve done better. rekod sekali je. malas nak rekod banyak2. haha. best lah! thanks for all the comments for my previous two songs.
bak kata rascal flatts - thanks for the support, and i'll come up with more MUSIC!

saya suka iphone saya sebab saya record pakai dia, dan juga mestilah saya sayang jane. jane, sedap gila bunyi awaaaak!

and saya rasa taylor merajuk kot. sebab tu letak gambar dia lagi. tahun depan kalau jadi beli bass nak bagi nama ellie.

hihi.

nak belajar gitar sampai hebat! lepas tu boleh la beli gitar paling versatile, fender telecaster!

dedikasi spesial

2009-08-31T19:23:00.003+02:00

to them who may be concerned.

"OMGGGG suara ko sedap gila. oh man lagu ko sedap babi..yg false love tu. shit sedap doh. hahahahh"

ye. kutok aku. ahaha.

for you, ye i'll buy you chipsmore hazelnut kau, and lagi sorang yes. old town punya coffee.

ok?

i had fun last night.
tapi kan, pelik bila korang diam. macam a moment of silence yg sangat eerie.

tak habis2 suro aku datang sana. kau buat lah saje2 repeat paper bagi lambat grad sikit. so konfem u'll be there when i'm there.

ahahahhh.

:)

when faree turned legal.

2009-08-27T19:21:00.008+02:00

holla earthlings.
it's been forever since i wrote. apa dia tu you orang panggil, erm, writers block.

i'm 21 today. or maybe a day older. i'm happy. felt like things just fall right into place. semua ada. kawan wish, family wish, kakak2 wish, semua pun wish. exes pun wish. birthday kali ni sangat seronok. it was a hell of a twenty one. i think if i'm going to supposedly delete this blog, this post will remind me of not doing so.

well enough craps, enough ramblings.

start the story already.

******

it was 26th august, where i stood still in the center of a mosque, just finished isya. fariz texted, asking me wether i'll be home or not tonight.

i said yes, because i had nowhere to go. with the rains and storms.

he said that he wanted to talk. macam serious. i was expecting some girl problem. well for men problems usually classified into two ; money, and girls. sesapa yg ada problem lain tu memang bukan real men la. ahaha. well a guy like fariz takkan la ada masalah duit kan.

well after teraweh i didnt even change pun. still pakai kopiah. dok la sms fariz tu. inilah itu lah. then i tried calling him, unanswered. then he replied, aku ada hal.

12am.

he texted, dah sampai.

aku dengan kopiah aku, kuar ah umah. then see fariz ngn bmw dia muka sedih gila.

tiba2, azreen duduk mencangkung kot belakang kereta bangun with cake and candles, all lit up.

i was stunned, in awe. bukan agony. awe. terdiam. tak cakap apa2. tak pernah rasa happy macam ni. even gfs pun susah nak buat surprise begini. ahaha. then sebab hujan i invited them, masuk dekat porch. then they both nyanyi la. sangat kuat, sampai mama keluar. but in the end azreen kata "happy birthday to faree", while fariz said "happy birthday to mock".

i blew up candles! saya tiup lilin! ahaha. and of course. i wished something. or something(s).

hihi.

well lelaki semua panggil aku mock kot. girls call me faree. dah macam double personality dah.

ahaha.

then sebab hujan, no pictures. then i said "weh, birthday boy nak buat request. ni hujan. jom lepak minum hot coffee."

well they said yes.

so pictures taken are as below.

azreen dan fariz. cupcakes with creams on top.

ada orang kata gambar ni "alim dohh", hahaha. ok la sebab besday aku, aku nak berlagak la. well, medic mesir. hahahahh.

chocolate spongecake. with candles. sedap! azreen kata rasa sekali nak lagi. mana la mereka beli ni.

muka happy.

fariz kata "terbaik. macam ustaz al-azhar mana entah."

double peace. leads to world domination.

semua pun nak jadi birthday boy. pffts. haha.

many thanks tau to you both. korang memang awesome. sangat2 awesome. paling awesome dalam dunia. i hope you both get along someday, and put all those painful past behind you. and yes. for me personally,

you guys are meant to be together.

******

well that's about early 27th. then after i woke up in the morning, i decides to go well, for some me-time, cari present happy birthday untuk diri sendiri. kalau kita tak manjakan diri kita, siapa nak manjekan, kan?

ok anis, aku camwhore ni. semua sebab kau. dah berjangkit dah selalu kawan dengan kau.

so photos for late today as below.

ha. ni baju sendiri. sebelum test baju. levi's tee and jeans. tee tu beli in egypt. made in turkiye ok. tak main la made in china. ahaha. jeans well, tahun 2007. you seasoned well, favoured one.

too busy to fcuk. white.

lucky fcuk. well kakak fcuk kasi yg ini untuk try. dia tak kasi try yg baru. jahat.

akhirnya. too busy too fcuk. i bought this. ntah. it suits my pride at the moment. anis got this one too. white.

perhatian eh. ni bukan bestie tshirts ke apa. just kebetulan. i always wanted black basic tee with those fcuk ramblings pun dari dulu. tapi what the hell. tshirt kawan satu kepala fcuk? gila macho! haha.

oh yes. saya test satu 501, satu 512, satu 523, and satu modern original.

i bought this pair of jeans. levi's limited edition premium heritage 523. size rahsia. hehe.

well happy birthday to me!

red. merah.

2009-08-21T21:14:00.003+02:00

nak sokong man u, sokong la. tapi jgn jadi elmo bole tak.

kalau dah kalah, terima jela. don't give lame excuses. kata sokong ggb. kalah, menang, setia. tak perlu nak cakap benda bodoh macam bagi chance ke apa. dan tak perlu kot nak kutuk team lain. i pity you guys.

for me, as years of supporting man u, i always blamed them for their losses, and cherish them for their glorious glory.

cuba macho sikit wahai devils sekalian.

someone said to me the other day, sekarang ni banyak team. chelsea la, arsenal la apa. tnggu nak dekat habis season. there will be only two. or twos. sebab two tu lebih dari satu.

man u and anti-man u.

and what's elmo?

a loser constricted between an emo.

music and lyrics

2009-08-17T19:58:00.004+03:00

ada dua lagu dah siap. lirik dia tak best. tapi sesapa yg baca ni tolong la komen betul kan, kasi gempak sikit. lagu boleh la mintak aku emel kan.

untitled satu

between foul and frown
i thought it all had just begun
without you as my crown
the flame's already been gone
as night strucks as my fear
all i hear was your tears

im falling

im failing
i've fallen hard for you

how can i be better if you keep on running up and down
with me
how can i be sober if u kept me drunk with false love
baby

all i did
i mean all did
was you..

untitled dua

sometimes i try to rush
sometimes i want the end
i know i'll get to this place
when the time is right (time is right)

when will i see the sun
cause my world is dark and brown - dark and grey pun bole jugak
when will the storm and the wind
starts to fling

will the rainbow starts to cure

after all this time
i'm here..

Telah tiba masa untuk aku kan pergi

meninggalkan kamu di sini

Telah tiba waktu untuk aku kan terbang

berlari mengejar impian

Kau pun tahu

Aku hanya manusia biasa yang punya cinta

Kau pun tahu

Aku pergi bukan untuk selamanya

Kau pun tahu

Dunia menunggu kita kejar cita-cita

Aku tak tahu

Kapan kita berjumpa adakah engkau seperti seadanya?

Telah tiba masa untuk terus bermimpi

mencari malam-malam yang sepi

Telah tiba waktu untuk memetik bintang

yang berkelip cerah bersinar

its always useless to write long. so i'm going for short and stuffed.

2009-08-14T20:00:00.002+03:00

let me love you, silently.

enough said.

home.

2009-07-31T20:48:00.003+03:00

day 1

back at 3pm. petang go tukar duit, etc, bawak kereta, malam dinner ngn family. birthday ayah.

day 2

hang out dgn kawan lama. fariz, and azreen. they picked me up. it was fun. we went to mid valley instead of klcc, as planned before. makan kedai penang apa ntah. my first char kway teow here in kl. sedap gila. then off to shop. kami groom azreen masuk zara, guess, mng dan semua2 kedai2 perempuan selalu pergi. i went to topman after that. tapi tak beli apa. banyak dah habis. shit. then tgk movie cerita hantu apa nth. aku tak percaya cerita first aku kat kl ni cerita melayu. takpe2. next will be public enemies, bak kata boss. azreen pun dapat nickname, mam. ahaha. then lepas movies azreen nak shopping lagi, i dah tak ada nafsu dah. so pegi lah kedai yamaha mid valley. ada dalam 8 les paul kot kat situ. antara lapan2, ada studio, black beauty, ultra, zack wylde, standard, special, gold top, and lagi satu i lupa lah nama dia apa. well paling menawan hati saya les paul standard plus top tu lah. kalau black beauty tu bunyi dia keras sangat. studio tu ringan. kalau slash gold top tu retro benor bunyik dia. tak contemporary la org panggil. haih. tapi les paul punye jelas bunyi dia, haih. sedap betul menggoreng. sampai hari ni termimpi2. oh the les paul standard plus top tu finish dia amber gold yellow. cina yamaha tu pun kata that guitar suits your way of playing. haih. seronoknya. nasib tak bawak cash je hari tu. kalau tak memang dah angkat dah. hihi.

so fariz ngn azreen datang lah cari aku kat yamaha tu. fariz ngn azreen babi jugak la sikit, dia kata gitar tu paling lawa dalam satu kedai ni. hahahaha. api kan aku la tu soh aku beli. shit.aku pun malu terus tak test dah gitar tu. then otw back, kami beli lah a dozen doughnuts kot. aku pelik kenapa nama dough-nut. dough tu tepung. nut tu tak tau la dalam donut yg biasa aku tak pernah pun rasa kacang. ok ok. ada la satu donut ni nama dia alien kat big apple ni. aku macam high. weh. alien weh donut ni nama dia. siap ada sotong2 lagi rambut dia. fariz pun kata donut ni kena makan pakai straw. haha. so beli la bermacam2 donut. seronok. then otw parking bayar tix apa semua. then nak kuar parking lot, sampai satu part, tetiba semua cuak. sebab parking tiket hilang. pastu mencari la mencari punya mencari, last2, sampai boot kete pun cari. last2 aku pg la patah balik nak pegi counter tiket tu nak bayar denda ke apa. pastu i nampak something yg buat i gelak.

apa dia?

otw back to the counter i saw the machine where u guys slip in the ticket before going out from the parking lot.

maknenye, kitorang dah masukkan dah la parking tiket tu!

bodohnya lah. hahahahaha. memang kelakar gila.

then we had dinner at a place called kunang kunang or kumang kumang. saya lupa lah sorry. hehe.

day 3

well lepas semayang jumaat, i ngn arman lepak kat starbucks au2 tu. best gila ah. my type of shopping complex. well tak banyak boutique, paling up pun giordano je kot. where i bought my shirts there beli dua terus yelah tak ada baju semua tinggal kat egypt balik msia baggage less than 10kilo haha. tapi kedai makan, semua ada. tempat lepak, semua ada. dah la macam open mall. sweet la nak dating or kill time.if nak shopping a big no no la. tapi untuk org yg takde life, single, hidup macam lalang ikut arus macam i ni memang best la. jalan2. oh tadi yg sempat i catch up ngn mata i is apa eh, well starbucks, old town, subway, anw, kfc, piza hut kot. and many more lah.pastu ada la supermarket jusco ngn baju2 dia ngn fragrances tu. body shop pun ada! ahaha. i bought something. hihii. seronok lah. hisap2 rokok kat garden dia. very nice. i love it. kalau kat egypt macam green plaza la. just nicer.

ok then balik2, azreen ni mengadu lah saket perut salah makan kot. fariz pun lepak mintak aku codeine ngn panadol. kata dia kalau stress boleh la makan. tido dia memang sangat enak. then aku pun macam drug dealer macam nancy botwin cari la dadah2 tu dalam umah aku. jumpa. aku bg azreen antimotility drug yg block cns, ngn pain killer yg block COX. tak main la drug locally acting. pondan punya dadah. haha. sila google ye cox ngn cns tu apa. pastu si fariz lak, aku bagi combo panadol, codeine ngn antihistamine. amek kau. memang seronok high la kau. haha. best amek medic ni. betul kata kak faridah, aku ni memang gila. ahaha.

ok ok. then pukul 6 macam tu kitorg gerak la g melaka, makan ikan bakar kat sana. well org gila mestila kawan ngn org gila. lepas jumaat kot plan on the spot nak g mlake jmpe JC. jap lagi i terang eh sapa jC ni. saya mintak la permission makwe saya iaitu mama saya lah. mama kata boleh, pastu dia kata, mama dh lama tak makan ikan bakar melaka tu. abg bawakkan balik eh? ala comelnye mama. pastu saya kata lah, mesti lah ma. nanti mama kempunan macamana. hehhee.

ok JC ni kawan fariz. fariz dan JC ni pilot gila yg akan kerja ngn MAS minggu depan. diorg sebaya ngn saya tapi menggedik kata "mock, aku ni tak macam kau. ko blaja sampai menara gading. aku lulusan spm je."

macam cibai. ko pilot kot. haha. tapi nice. so diorg dua ni pernah la datang egypt. fariz ni kawan dia belajar kat egypt satu batch ngn i. schoolmate diorg satu umah ngn i. so diorg dua ni duduk la tidur umah i kat egypt dua minggu. haaa. dari situ la kitorg kenal. yela, JC tu dulu belajar langkawi kot flying school. bawak rokok. mana la tak jadi member. hahaha.

ok. sambung cerita. jalan g mlake tak best sangat macam biasa la cruise kat highway. sampai makan then lepak ngn JC la borak apa smua gelak2. JC macam babi juga. sampai2 cakap kat azreen. hey azreen, where's ur tudung? hahahahaha. babi betul. seronok lah have fun macam ni. but i felt hollow sometimes. yelah balik msia all those memoirs flashing back.....

ahh dah stop stop jgn nak jadi pussy.

ok lepas makan tu i beli kan my mum ikan siakap masak tiga rasa la bungkus (ceh saja nak bgtau).

then JC bawak kitorg g jetty kat melaka. best tempat ni. refreshing. bayangkan shopping complex or entertainment center atas jeti. seronok wei. ingat nak karaoke tapi full, pkl 1230 malam baru ada free. main pool or snooker pun aku ngn fariz je main. fariz ni malu nak ajar azreen main. haha. tapi kan kitorg bawak mam. cmne nak balik lambat2 sangat ni. hehe.

so balik tu. best. fariz bawak bmw 325i kot. pastu ada la volvo ni number plate singapore buat hal dok potong2 masuk lane kiri kanan. then potong kete kitorg. tapi dok depan kitorg tak laju pun. bodoh. stupid singaporean. nak bawak laju bawak la laju betul2. aku apikan fariz ni. apa lagi. kitorang cucuk la dia. dok lip lap lip lap. tanak kalah. speedometer 200kmh ni tau kawan2. tanak kalah kot. pastu, volvo singapore ni tekan lah dia bawak 220 kot beza kelajuan ngn bmw dalam 2-3 saat cmtu la. ceh macam f1 lak aku ni. then dekat lane kanan (yela lane memotong) volvo ni brek kete. fariz pun brek kete gak la. rupanya depan volvo ni ada la mercedes c class kot yg baru tu. lembab gak. volvo ngn fariz suda main itu lampu lip lap. dia pun tak tahan kena cucuk. kira cerita macam ni. mercedes - volvo - bmw ni mencucuk2 dengan kelajuan 220kmh. babi kan kitorg. azreen dah cuak dah la. kitorg dok kata, kalau mam takde niee. kalau mam takde nie. hahahaha. pastu dah cucuk2, volvo singapore ni tak tahan la dia press 240 kot potong mercs tu. so tinggal fariz ngn mercs tu. pastu kitorg try la potong mercs tu boleh. then tak nampak dah bayang volvo tu. tapi mercs ni babi gak. dah kena cucuk boleh lak brek sesaje kete padahal kat depan tak ada apa pun. kalau berlanggar mau gaduh ni. haha. haih. darah muda darah muda. kete pun nak bawak laju je. seronok betul. hehehe. pastu dah penat kitorg singgah mcd yg kete boleh lalu tu aku lupa term orang putih dia. beli la sundae chocolate. we miss the caramel sundae in egypt. fariz n JC said that if pegi egypt, rasa caramel sundae mcd, dengan nescafe kitorg kat sini. memang tiada tandingan. kalau scale 1-10, msia nye nescafe kat mama 1-2 je kot. sini 10. haha.

cmtu jelah my 3 days kat malaysia.

esok nak pergi pc fair pula. ahad got some teater to enjoy. another adventure role played.

oh awak, i miss you.

hihi.

2009-07-19T09:13:00.000+03:00

dah habis exam baru nak letak.

kamu

2009-07-12T20:00:00.004+03:00

razan syazana zainal,

hari ini,

today,

saya rindu sangat-sangat.

semoga cepat sembuh.

dan dapat berlari-lari anak menceriakan dunia ini.

saya heart awak.

dan saya tak peduli apa kata-kata kalian semua.

tamat.

I'm a freaky sex addict with a sexy smile who ran shirtless with a bowl of cereal because that's how i roll.

2009-07-12T19:51:00.004+03:00

First, add "I'm a/an" on your title, then add the rest of the answers on as you do the questions.
Tag 10 people
tag the person who tagged you

What color/kind of socks are you wearing?
[ ] Red = loud
[ ] Green = stupid
[X] None = freaky
[ ] Fuzzy = gorgeous
[ ] Yellow = innocent
[ ] Purple = a little too happy
[ ] Black = emo
[ ] Stripes = funny
[ ] Gray = skanky
[ ] Pink = preppy
[ ] Light blue = sweaty
[ ] Other = hot
[ ] White = sexy

What kind of pants are you wearing?
[ ]Shorts = cutie
[ ]Skirt/skort = skank
[ ]Corduroy = faggot homosexual
[ ]Tight jeans = scene kid
[ ]Ripped jeans = emo
[ ]Cammo = cage fighter
[ ]Jeans = prep
[ ]Pajamas = pimp
[ ]Cargo = clown
[ ]Sweats = athlete
[ ]Boxers = brat
[ ]Booty shorts = female
[ ]Capris = Gangster
[ ]Nothing = hoe
[ ]Dickies = weirdo
[ ]Bikini bottoms = tiki girl
[X]Other = sex addict

What is your natural hair color?
[ ]Auburn = that every one wants to make out with
[ ]Blonde = with a broken heart
[X]Black = with a sexy smile
[ ]Dark brown = with a hot boyfriend/girlfriend
[ ]Dark Red = that likes to have fun
[ ]Brown = who loves to be different
[ ]Dirty blonde= with a nice ass
[ ]Bald = with herpes

Pick the month you were born on:
[ ]1 = who ate
[ ]2 = who needed
[ ]3 = who killed
[ ]4 = who shot
[ ]5 = who killed
[ ]6 = who smoked with
[ ]7 = who banged
[X]8 = who ran shirtless with
[ ]9 = who got stabbed horribly by
[ ]10 = who cuddled with
[ ]11 = who slept with
[ ]12 = who ran naked with

Pick the day you were born on:
[ ]01 = the kool-aid man
[ ]02 = a dog
[ ]03 = a shoe
[ ]04 = a toothbrush
[ ]05 = Santa Claus
[ ]06 = The Trojan man
[ ]07 = Barney the dinosaur
[ ]08 = a prostitute
[ ]09 = a porn star
[ ]10 = a bag of weed
[ ]11 = my lover
[ ]12 = a glass of milk
[ ]13 = a horse
[ ]14 = a lesbian
[ ]15 = a stripper
[ ]16 = a pickle
[ ]17 = a jew
[ ]18 = a homo
[ ]19 = an orange
[ ]20 = my mom
[ ]21 = a homeless guy
[ ]22 = a whore
[ ]23 = my crush
[ ]24 = an easter egg
[ ]25 = a jar of honey
[ ]26 = a condom
[X]27 = a bowl of cereal
[ ]28 = a french fry
[ ]29 = your dealer
[ ]30 = Paris Hilton
[ ]31 = your grandma

Pick the color of the shirt you are wearing
[ ]White = because I love marijuana
[ ]Black = because I'm sexy as hell
[ ]Pink = Because the lil people told me to
[ ]Blue = because I have AMAZING boobs
[ ]Red = because I'm a pimp and your jealous
[ ]Polka Dots = because I hate my life
[ ]Purple = because I'm gay
[ ]Gray = because I got dared
[X]Other = because that's how I roll
[ ]Green = because I'm good in bed
[ ]Orange = because I smoke crack
[ ]Turquoise = because I have a noodle in my nose
[ ]Brown = because I had to
[ ]Shirtless = because I've got abs

******

yeah yeah, aku taG kau.

bosan nie. sori anis, baru buat. haha.

raksasa hijau.

2009-07-02T04:12:00.002+03:00

no offense.

but one thing that drives me for being envious to the fairer sex,

is that,

i can't fuck myself.

dah ok pastu fucked up balik.

2009-07-01T17:59:00.003+03:00

don't worry, i'll be cool.

but you sure do know where to stab me right through the heart.

have fun.

that is all i can say.

maybe its my mistake to like you in the first place.

sorry. i'm blind with your love cards shuffled right in front of my face.

it's so hot inside here till i can't move myself here and there.

i hate you today,

but,

i love you.

.

.

yesterday, tomorrow, and forever.

did you know #4

2009-06-30T14:24:00.002+03:00

did you know that taylor swift's acoustic guitar which carries the brand taylor costs within range of RM9000 - RM15000 throughout the standard model piece?

ni belum yg signature series ke apa.

damn.

memoir seorang pengamen jalanan.

2009-06-29T04:21:00.000+03:00

It might be hard to be lovers
But it's harder to be friends
Baby, pull down the covers
It's time you let me in
Maybe light a couple candles
And I'll just go ahead
And lock the door
If you'll just talk to me, baby
Till we ain't strangers anymore

Lay your hand on my pillow
I'll sit beside you on the bed
Don't you think it's time we said
Some things we haven't said
It ain't too late to get back to that place
Back to what we thought it was before
Why don't you look at me
Till we ain't strangers anymore

Sometimes it's hard to love me
Sometimes it's hard to love you too
I know it's hard believing
That love can pull us through
It would be so easy
To live your life
With one foot out the door
Just hold me, baby
Till we ain't strangers anymore

It's hard to find forgiveness
When we just turn out the lights
It's hard to say you're sorry
When you can't tell wrong from right

It would be so easy
To spend your whole damn life
Just keepin score
So let's get down to it, baby
There ain't no need to lie
Tell me who you think you see
When you look into my eyes
Let's put our two hearts back together
And leave the broken pieces on the floor
Make love with me, baby
Till we ain't strangers anymore

tagged by anis izaty

2009-06-27T08:56:00.003+03:00

oleh sebab i'm #1 list on her post, jadi saya pun buat lah. hehe.

What you're supposed to do and please do not spoil the fun.
Create a new note, copy and paste this message, delete my answers and type in yours.
Then tag 21 good friends and family INCLUDING the person who tagged you.
The theory is that you will learn one new thing about each of your friends.

THREE NAMES I GO BY
1. Faree - by girls
2. Mock - by guys
3. Arie - at home

THREE JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE
1. penjual burger - lepas spm
2. pembuat kuih raya dgn my 2 fav aunties
3. part time tukang isi ubat kat clinic pak long haha.

THREE PLACES I HAVE LIVED
1. Kuala Lumpur
2. Alexandria, Egypt
3. Ipoh, masa kat star. tempat lain cuti je wohh

THREE TV SHOWS THAT I WATCH
1. Californication
2. Greek
3. sekarang tgh tgk balik Alias lima season - banyak la tv shows aku tgk

THREE PLACES HAVE BEEN (with frens)
1. Singapore!
2. Cairo ahaha
3. Luxor and Aswan - blergh takda idea, ingat kat egypt je. takpe next year tambah kot list nye.

THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO
1. London
2. Athens, Greece
3. Amsterdam

THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS
1. Ampang Park's Cozy Corner Chicken Chop
2. Kway teow tak kesah la apa2.
3. alaaaa bodoh la takde idea hahaha. oh. mestilah nasi kuning jawa mama!

THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO
1. Malaysia next month
2. if ada budget, going to be an owner of the mythical les paul standard
3. razan. kot.

THREE PETS THAT YOU HAVE OWNED
1. kura kura. dah umur 7 tahun, muda setahun dari saya, i'm 8 masa ni, then nangis weh lepaskan dia kat tasik titiwangsa
2. 4 ekor hamster, mati kena bunuh ngn kucing. man i hate cats. they make me snort myself
3. masa darjah berapa ntah pernah ada ikan laga. best woooo.

THREE FAVORITE BANDS/SINGERS
1. buat masa sekarang the fray
2. anything taylor swift - even though cmt awards dia macam dumb blonde pffts
3. buat masa sekarang juga ashley tisdale

THREE FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH
1. of course bola - transfer rumors makin best
2. rugby

3. badminton doubles, basketball, volleyball, tennis, banyak lah. except cricket aku tak tau.

THREE FAVORITE DRINKS
1. Ultimate from coffee bean - never fails to indulge my lust for dark roasted beans
2. vanilla latte / cappucino from costa - haha for me starbucks macam nak eksyen je kot. minum mana? starbucks. tak sedap pun. personally as a coffee lover i thought starbucks coffee rasa dia macam synthetic plastic coffee. haha. tp tu la, kedai starbucks mesti lawa, and best lepak. damn u israels.
3. watermelon juice. bodoh punya prof arab, aku cakap aku suka watermelon juice dia kata aku shittin her. mesir yg so ancient ni je tak ada, my malaysia adaaa. haha.

jangan jeles.

2009-06-26T14:23:00.002+03:00

adilette baru saya.

my dad taught me best.

nickname on my guitar

2009-06-23T23:21:00.000+03:00

say hi to taylor!

nama nak best aje.

:p

let me love you silently

2009-06-22T12:02:00.002+03:00

If I could start all over with you again
I’d change the way the story ends
I’d try my best to help you along
If ever there’s anything wrong
But I know you gotta be moving on

Baby it’s gonna be fine if you have to go
And I always wish you well you know
It’s time for you to do everything
you always wanted to do
So I’ll see you when you make it through

I couldn’t do anything right
I was so far away and you shut me outside

God I wish I was sleeping with you tonight
We could listen to the rain outside
I’d tell you a story, sing you a song, promise you nothing is wrong
But I know you gotta be moving on

I couldn’t do anything right
I was so far away and you shut me outside

It’s time for you to do everything
you always wanted to do
So I’ll see you when you make it through
Yeah I’ll see you when you make it through

***

a sweet, breathtaking song entitled :

Shut Me Out by Aidan Hawken

i disgust myself

2009-06-20T02:07:00.001+03:00

aku nak mati.

aku nak mati.

aku nak mati.

nak hidop balik.

nak make everything right.

but tak boleh.

aku nak mati.

aku nak mati.

aku nak mati.

saya lah si gemok!

2009-06-19T20:08:00.003+03:00

awak,

you are like a great happy meal.

you make me feel stuffed, with feelings!

plus,

i don't need to unbutton my pants.

yours,

faree.

:)

three days of happiness.

2009-06-18T19:57:00.006+03:00

the day before yesterday.

bangun pagi, got a sms from puteri, and a wall post from her too. then, echopunya offered me a job, which is kinda my dream job. you can call me rufus humphrey la lepas ni. kerja macam dia. best, kan?

then, exam practical parasitology. sniffs from the girls while the professor was marking my answer sheet on the spot tells me that i got full marks.

heaven.

after that i pegi tgk movie kat green plaza, night at the museum 2. best. i suka.

tell me why i shouldn't buy that oakley squarewire reflected polarized lens.

muka aku sebijik macam hank moody dalam cerita californication.

faten, kalau kau beli shade chanel 2ribu tu aku beli gak oakley tu.

ohh, and the salesman puji my taste on eyewear. dia kata, u wore oakley, the brand suits good on your face. yelah dah aku pakai oakley blender kot. sebok nak pegang spek aku.

nak squarewire tu!

well, i cant wear yg lain. :p

sini shades, sunglasses, specs, semua murah dari malaysia.

eg. ray bans price range from 250-300 je. masuk lens nak power dalam 450 la. oakley mahal sket la. :p

******

yesterday.

woke up by a buzz daripada yang tersayang.

we talked.

we spill out everything.

its good, but of course, saya tension lah sikit. sorry sayang.

lepas tu i try tido, but i cant. then i burst my ass of my room, pegi green plaza lagi. tgk angels and demons. sorang sorang. yes im that kind of person. pegi kedai spec lagi, try ray bans and bvlgari shades pula. tell me why i shouldnt!

ok la angels and demons. aku tak suka sangat. banyak beno paderi. banyak beno cross. banyak beno holy holy shit apa semua.

then, lepas tu, nak balik, then faten talipon. tanya aku kat mana. aku jawab ah, kat green. then, dia kata dia ada kat green juga. pegi jumpa then dia kata dia dah beli ticket tgk wolverine. aku pun apa lagi, beli la juga. i had fun terang la cerita wolverine tu kat faten. and of course, movie tu kosong macam biasa. jerit2 tgk macam tgk dekat rumah.

aku tgk dua movie back to back! hahaha.

then we had some coffee break kat brownies. i had some cheesecake with vanilla milkshake. sedapnyaaa. gemok.

then balik, tidur. senyum.

******

today.

bangun pagi, sayang hati saya buzz. we talked. best. perempuan cantik ini kata saya mengada, sebab saya buat2 smiley blushing masa dia kata "saya mish awak. sangat."

pastu, saya ke rumah mizi, gunting rambut. bodoh kata aku macam pondan. jambu la. apa la. squirt la. nak buat macamana, org kata aku babyface kalau rambut pendek. macam budak form 2. mama pun kata saya hensem kalau rambut pendek. alah, semua mak mesti nak anak lelaki rambut pendek. bwek.

pastu pegi lah museum pathology, revise jars utk exam hari ahad ni. ok lah, semua jumpa.

pastu pharma ada tutorial kira dosage, pharmacokinetics la apa ntah lagi. i jiwa kacau, i bising kat belakang amek kau aku kena mara dok depan sekali. tapi aku macho, prof salah kira aku betulkan dia. apa ingat aku ni loser yg buat bising kat belakang tak tahu apa yg awak ajar ke? ada ke dose tu g cakap volume of distribution? miahaha. aku g depan tak bawak buku pun, bawak iphone je. yela, iphone ada scientific graphical calculator wei. :P ssorilah, saya offended kalau dimalukan di hadapan classmates. dah lah aku rambut baru. oh masuk2 kelas, comelnya comelnya. hahahaha. aku senyum jelah. dah, sapa nak muntah muntah la kat bilik sendiri.

im in a good mood.

tapi kitorg semua tak bawak air. semua org haus macam orang asli takda air. then lepas kelas kami beramai2 turun ke laut nak amik tramco nak pegi costa stanley.

best gila.

kitorg gelak macam gila sampai waiter datang marah. dah la dok tepi tandas. dok usha pompuan arab yg hot punya bontot. pastu gelak2. bangang. pompuan yg melebih2 usha bontot arab. laki lek je. yela, kami kan gay sikit-sikit.

then, dah tak haus, pergi lah ke laut balik, nak lintas nak balik ke kawasan rumah kami, camp shezar namanya. tapi memandangkan budak2 ni takot nak lintas jalan, kitorang jalan lah sepanjang stanley bridge tu. amek gambar, tgk arab mandi. hahaha. seronok. berlari2 di jambatan stanley tu.

stanley bridge ni dikenali juga dgn nama london bridge, sebab dia mimic london bridge kat london tuh. cuma beza kalau tak silap, bawah london bridge tu thames river, kalau stanley bridge bawah dia meditteranean sea. org london sila betulkan saya kalau saya salah.

hurm tu jelah. then balik. pics kat facebook.

:)

******

seronoknya.

puteri, sorry saya tak balas sms awak. i'm speechless. i'm butterflied by you. saya cuba balas, tapi padam balik. ada lah dekat lima kali. type, erase balik. type erase balik.

you give me my good mood.

i miss you too.

in fact,

IMYGGB.

tanya lah saya, GGB tu apa. ehe.

:)

ROFLOL

2009-06-17T13:48:00.002+03:00

i think i cant be friends with you guys anymore.

i asked if i were bothering you and you said no. go to hell lah dgn adab ke apa.

kalau aku kacau hidup korang, bgtau lah.

kalau korang penat dengar, cakap jelah kat aku.

tak perlu kot nak jaga hati semua.

my thanks to you is an absoute reality.

aku bukan tak tanya. aku tanya kan?

thanks for your fake ears that listenED to me.

call me a psycho?

i already am.

i can't stand by my both feet? aku pussy?

yes, i am. nak buat macamana, my girlfriend just left me and i needed some company. so i fuck everything that moves lah. literally.

oh, the apologise. im sorry if i ever bothered you. i'm sorry if i make your life miserable with my problems. and hell i'm sorry if u have other problems caused by my problems.

tp aku bangga kot, masalah aku dalam hidup ni masalah perempuan je. tak pernah ada masalah lain.

masalah belajar? pffts. pernah ke aku ngadu aku tak abes baca lagi pastu nangis2? masalah duit? masalah duit is aku terlupa bawak duit ke kuliah and terpaksa tebal muka pinjam member nak lepak. tapi aku bayar lah esok. tu je kot. masalah keluarga? so far happy je. masalah kawan2? oh aah. ni kot masalah. hahaha.

aku gila.

sabar lah. i'm trying hard here to move on. lepas ni tada perempuan takde lah masalah dalam hidup aku.

jeles tak jeles tak?

man im miserable.

mengadu, orang lain susah. tak mengadu, diri sendiri susah.

apa nak buat, diri sendiri kena berubah jelah. nak puaskan hati orang lain, dan puaskan hati diri sendiri.

haha.

*this post never meant for anybody. it is just an emotional stressed related post, where i displaced my problems to an imaginary friend*

in psychology, displacement is a poor defensive mechanism against stress or emotional breakdown. well, hell about heaven pasal psychology.

kalau aku buat personality test ke, iq test ke, aku ni ada mental problem kot. nanti lah balik malaysia aku buat lah, takpun sesiapa tahu website online test utk psychoactive person macam aku ni boleh lah share.

aku nak bunuh diri, tapi aku still pandai lagi kot, kalau bunuh diri pun, the afterlife pun masalah ni akan jadi lagi. contoh, break up, bunuh diri. kecewa kena cheat. ko bunuh diri, afterlife kau dapat ke perempuan tu balik? hahaha.

pernah tak korang curious how will death taste?

cam, yg aku tengah pikir sekarang,

"apa eh perasaannya mati?"

accidentally in love!

2009-06-11T22:05:00.004+03:00

sekarang ni, dunia sudah terbalik.

dulu,

saya yg selalu kena nyanyi.

"awak, satu lagu!"

yeah, i know. bossy, kan.

sekarang?

scroll down please.

awak! dengar lah saya nak nyanyi nie! kenapa ambil gambar saya?

:p

come on, come on, jump a little higher!

i surrender to the strawberry ice cream never ever end of this love

sedih kan yang ini. well she gtg, na buka puasa. saya pun na pergi kelas.
this is exact moment just before she hung up.

:(

********

p/s : do you still remember that you used to record this song on the phone call i gave you a long long time ago? hihi.

bila aku tiada kerja

2009-06-08T10:31:00.006+03:00

semalam webby dgn razan. seronok. sangat.

dia nyanyi untuk saya! dia kata, gitar dulu! gambar2 facebook kemudian!

hihi.

love story

fall for you

******

belum habis lagi. masa menggedik pula.

ehe.

garangnyaa.

muka kucing na tidur. :p

******

ada banyak sebenarnya. oleh sebab saya tada kerja, saya mix kan gambar2 ini!

lantak lah tapi saya rasa comel.

:)

p/s : something is better than nothing, kan?

funny. or not.

2009-06-05T21:38:00.003+03:00

how do you live with a hole between you? doesn't that make u feel,

empty?

p/s : in psychoscience, emotions is the way your brain interpret your heart rate.

mind games.

2009-06-05T19:55:00.000+03:00

you don't have a clue
what it is like to be next to you
i'm here to tell you
that it is good
that it is true

birds singing a song
old paint is peeling
this is that fresh
that fresh feeling

words can't be that strong
my heart is reeling
this is that fresh
that fresh feeling

try
try to forget what's in the past
tomorrow is here
love,
orange sky above lighting your way
there's nothing to fear

birds singing a song
old paint is peeling
this is that fresh
that fresh feeling

words can't be that strong
my heart is reeling
this is that fresh
that fresh feeling

some people are good
babe in the 'hood
so pure and so free
i'd make a safe bet

you're gonna get whatever you need

gila

2009-06-05T10:56:00.001+03:00

these mind games are driving me crazy.

tulang belakang saya

2009-06-03T18:17:00.002+03:00

free palestine.

jejaka section 2.

i can smile, today!

2009-06-02T13:41:00.002+03:00

aku baru habis kelas parasit. belajar segala jenis lalat ye kawan2. flies.

musca domestica, stomoxys, phlebotomus, glossina, calliphora, lucilia, sarcophaga and wholfartia.

tu la nama lalat2 yg sakit jiwa nak kenal. tapi ada yang cantik.

then tgh turun tangga, terserempak dgn azreen nut abu and qiqi. borak lah, diorg lab histo tadi practical macamana2 semua.

then sampai bawah sekali, nut jerit :

"eh! fari nampak kurus lah sekarang!"

whee.

you made my day.

:)

summer

2009-06-02T02:53:00.002+03:00

this upcoming summer will be my worst and foremost nightmare out to come.

God give me strength.

bencinta

2009-06-02T01:45:00.002+03:00

benarkanku tuk berbicara
bicara terus ke hatimu.. hatimu..
hati yang penuh rasa ragu
jangan terus pergi tanpa mendengar ku
begitu mudah untuk kau terus berlalu nanti dulu
berikanlah waktu untuk aku untuk kamu

ingatkah lagi waktu kau bersamaku
kaku aku melihat mu
lidah kelu sedangkan aku mahu kau tahu
aku cinta padamu, benci padamu, cinta padamu

ke tepi lihat ku berlalu
pasti itu yang terbaik untuk ku
tiada lagi mahu ku tahu
tentang hidup kamu tentang mati kamu
aku tahu engkau tahu apa yang mataku tahu
apa yang kau tunggu mahu aku buka pintu

ingatkah lagi waktu kau bersama ku
kaku aku melihat mu sedangkan aku mahu kau tahu
dengar kata ku aku cinta padamu
benci padamu cinta padamu

sakitnya aku membenci kamu
sakit lagi mencintaimu
dan aku pergi tapi kembali
benci aku mencintai dirimu
ku benci. kamu
aku cinta. kamu

ingatkah lagi waktu kau bersama ku
kaku aku melihat mu
sedangkan aku mahu kau tahu
dengar kata ku
aku cinta padamu
benci padamu
padamu..

ingatkah lagi waktu kau bersamaku
kaku aku melihat mu
lidah kelu sedangkan aku mahu kau tahu
aku cinta padamu
aku benci padamu
aku cinta aku benci
padamu

ingatkah lagi waktu kau bersama ku
dengar kata ku
aku cinta padamu
aku benci padamu
aku cinta aku benci

free

2009-06-01T16:39:00.000+03:00

i love the way how we are doing things now.

i hope she felt the same way too.

doakan ya?

silent

2009-05-31T14:47:00.001+03:00

i cant take this anymore.

i'm not bulletproof so tell my why.

wish me luck on midterms tomorrow.

i need my strength.

with all the love in the world.

nightmaree

2009-05-27T07:02:00.000+03:00

i MISS her.

its been way too long

2009-05-26T06:59:00.002+03:00

between us, its over.

mungkin distance, mungkin aku, mungkin dia.

tak penting semua tu. yg penting adalah results.

jgn main2 dengan kuasa tuhan.

p/s : any of you readers have some post-break up things that i should do, feel free to share. thanks. i can't help but to be miserable and i'm late for class.

mama mesti bangga.

2009-05-19T09:51:00.003+03:00

ha. hari ni aku nak membelog pasal resepi. anis suro, so mood pun sudah mari. so here it goes.

SPAGETI MERAH MENARIK HATI MOMEL.

Bahan-bahannya :

Spageti mestila kan. ikut kemampuan perut dan perasaan lapar anda.
Kalau untuk 4 orang, aku selalu pakai 1/2 kilo daging kisar.
1 kilo tomato.
Beberapa ulas bawang putih
Bawang merah sebiji. cukup kot.

Cara membuatnya :

Rebus spageti bersama sedikit minyak dan garam. agak2 dah masak, boleh la tus dgn air sejuk. skill kena ada, kalau tak nanti spageti korang lekat2. tak best la kan?
Tumis bawang2 tadi sehingga masak dan wangi. masukkan daging. masak la daging tu sampai agak2 dia dah masak.
Tomato sekilo yang sudah dipotong dadu dimasukkan ke dalam periuk yg ada daging tadi. masukkan secawan air, kasi heat tolerance dia smooth dan rata. cewah.
Agak2 tomato tadi semua dah lembut dan jadi macam kuah, dan minyak pun sudah naik (ni term nenek saya), bolehla masukkan gula, garam, kayu manis, cengkih, nak bagi sedap. cengkih dgn kayu manis nak masuk awal2 masa tumis tadi pun boleh juga.
Then kalau kaler tak jadi ke apa ke, boleh la main2 dgn serbuk cili dan kunyit. kasi kaler ada umph sikit. untuk pedas, boleh la pakai serbuk cili tu, atau nak pakai white pepper yg biji2 tu. dua2 pun boleh kalau suka pedas. egypt ni tiada cili merah. so kena macam ni la.
Rasa lah.
Ni masakan bujang je. kalau nak sedap, boleh la pakai sos ke, mushroom ke, ayam ketul2 ke, seafood ke, sukahati. kalau nak buat ala2 grand boleh la tabur baked mozarella atas dia masa makan nanti.
biar simple, tapi habis licin bila jerit "weh makan. dah siap dah!" dan dimakan oleh budak2 rumah. hehe.

ha, dah boleh makan dah.

******

p/s : beshnya semalam. rindu you. hihi.

the invisible

2009-05-11T22:01:00.002+03:00

day burns down to night
burns the edge of my soul
in the night
i break into sparks of suns
and become fire's end
the dust of bones

night knives my breath
swallows whole my tongue
turn back reverse return

in the night i see the real
concealed in the day's bright lie
eyes stiched shut
white teeth smile
sleep walks
and talks
and feet mark time..

self-improvement book-slash-movie

2009-05-10T22:27:00.002+03:00

tangkap nangis doh.

aku gembira hari ni.

2009-05-10T00:56:00.002+03:00

aku berjaya menjaringkan goal cantik dari goal pada hari ini.

aku gembira.

:)

histology.

2009-05-09T16:27:00.004+03:00

oh well, some updates about my lab class. well students in my class has agreed that in every practical class, students have to speak english in order to empower ourselves speaking in the future. well its a good idea really. and each practical session every students have to give a short pep talk about something. well today, during patho (kenapa patho bukan histo, sabar ya), it was maro's turn and he did give us a wonderful talk about the newest pandemic, the swine flu. and we did this numerically, from descending order.

and what tickles me is that my friends use broken english, and we ended up ROFL. we use those shortforms too. ok contoh. prof mana, i ask, aman, where's the prof? aman say, i think the prof is BRB. haha. wtf? broken english and shortforms. hahaha. then ada la kawan i tanya, why didnt u come to my house yesterday? then he replied, i dont know the founding of your house situation. haha. macam babi. then ada lah mintak pen, replynya, sorry pen is not found with me. hahaha. gelak gila babi. best best.

profesor yg membuat kan aku menggigil kaki ketika presentation histo dulu, kalian mahu melihatnya? so today aku guna skill pervert aku utk snap beberapa gambar. this is for fun okay? hehe. bukan aku je ok. laki lain pun sama. just that i failed to behave myself today. sorry prof.
hihi.

ok scroll down for pics ;

syai dan haq. lelaki macho dlm kelas saya.

prof main sms kot.

maro sengaja nak menyibuk ah nih. tak padan dgn janggut. haha.

prof my subgroup (group D) dgn prof subgroup C

ok dah. prof chantek nak ajar saya sel2 yg ada di vagina. and hari ni mood dia sangat baik, tak macam sesi histologi yg lepas. garang mcm lioness, ketok2 meja marah kami. prof, jgn gaduh2 dgn suami ya? hiks.

peace - seperti gambar di atas.

makanan

2009-05-08T20:58:00.000+03:00

selalu mcdonalds tak akan fail untuk buat aku happy.

tp hari ni kau gagal.

big time.

hihi

2009-05-08T02:35:00.001+03:00

hey u.

i love u.

=)

-razansyazanashantek-

there's a thing called limits

2009-05-07T00:26:00.002+03:00

where are you?

the ice cube, pre-barbeque

2009-05-06T03:49:00.006+03:00

last night,
we section 2 boys had a barbeque. we had satay daging, satay ayam, ikan bakar, roast macaroni, and mixed fruit juice.
and the kuah kacang was super awesome.

but u guys can take a look for pics at my facebook profile. malas letak banyak2 sini. tak reti.

haha.

what really excites me the most is when back before we went to start grilling, me and maro went to port said street here@alex to buy some ice cubes.
and you know, aku terkejut gila.
kedai old school, and uncle jual tu menggigil tangan.

scroll down for pics ;

keluarkan ais dari peti harta karun

ice cube. singgit je kot tuh.

ni lah maro.

those satays aren't going to stay long on the grill plate. oh lupa, dah dalam perut saya dah.

*******

:)

untuk kamu

2009-05-05T11:45:00.004+03:00

missing you is hardly my exertion nowadays.

i'm half without you.
half complete, half blind, half in everything.

separuh, bukan penuh.

be my sun and shine
be the hot, big giant spotlight up away in sky!

ouh.

saya rindu awak!

*******

p/s : sorry ye cik radin.
;p

did you know #3

2009-05-04T16:50:00.000+03:00

did you know that our blood is filtered 60 times per day by the kidney?

gila bersih darah manusia. patutla vampire suka.

ehe.

for u

2009-05-04T09:53:00.000+03:00

my world is empty without u.
i love u.

post yang bosan.

2009-05-03T14:53:00.000+03:00

momel tido berpeluk tubuh.hihi.
bedsheet sama ngan dia.dua2 kucing.hihi.
i love u momel.
tapi u nakal gila sekarang lah.habis tangan mama u cakar2.
buang karang baru tau.hihi

ouh exam exam exam.
tralalala

the violet tree

2009-05-03T10:14:00.000+03:00

so this is one pic snapped during my histo lab yesterday. we were seeing endometrium and placental tissue slides. 2 slide je dua jam?haha. tak sampai dua jam pun aku tgk slide tu teros blah. ngantok weh. well midterms was before. 7 subjects which equals to 500+- pages and god knows how hard, and with the time frame, those books merely be my best sleeping antidote. but alas the exam was finally over, i cant say i nailed it, but it was worthwhile for what i had read.

well back to the main clausal topic for today's post. see the pic below please.

did you notice there's a tree with violet-ish leaves smirking around right in the middle of the photoframe? well it is a one magical tree. it only emits its colorful leaves changed by seasons. now its spring and its violet. winter aritu tada daun kot. ntah lupa. tp menarik la kan, kaler purple daun. hehe. this shot was taken by phone from the balcony of the lab class i stated above.

oh and yes, this is a sneek peek of my faculty of medicine. macam palestine kena bom kan? so i bet AFM ni suck jugak la nak compare ngn mana2. but aku hepi blaja sini. everyday u smell the slight refreshing ocean breeze etc, windy. selesa lah. tak panas.

aku dah nak dekat 4 taun blaja sini, tp takde pun gambar2 pemandangan nak tunjuk kat keluarga di kampung halaman. ceh, kampung la sangat. KL je pun. hahaha. ok lah tu. hulu. hulu kelang. hahahaha.

oh cekgu2 tesl, aku ni tgh rush in ni. sorry for grammatical errors. no time to shuffle up and down just to erase and jot down some minor alphabets.

well have a nice day.

did you know #2

2009-05-03T10:04:00.000+03:00

that there's an abnormal pregnancy condition called vesicular/hydatidiform mole, and grape like vesicles starting to pop out underneath the subway?

hydatidiform mole

oh this particular thing amazed all girls in my class yesterday. they go oh uu oh uu. for me i just smiled. oh. and by underneath the subway, i mean the Vs.

did you know #1

2009-05-01T01:06:00.000+03:00

did u know that

menstrual blood can regurgitate upwards to the fallopian tube instead of going out to the panties?

saham diri sendiri mula menurun.

2009-04-30T15:13:00.000+03:00

its been a month kot i belajar main guitar.

tipu gila.i ada rest 2 weeks mcm tuh tidak main guitar.haha.sbb time tuh bz kenapa ntah.

1st song- leaving on the jet plane
2nd song-collide
3rd song- bertahan
4th song-best i ever had
5th song- dan sebenarnya.-yuna

hahahahaha.lagu ke 5 sangat2 mencabar.strumming lain,full chord smuer (tapi saya tak main full pon.)

but it was fun.geram marah ngan faree at 5am in the morning, strum lagu2 diatas kuat2.amek kau.hahahaha..satu kompleks BDP dengar (the place where i live in makassar now).smuer org sibuk pergi surau, ada minah ni gila main guitar pagi2.hahah.

jari2 i dah keras mengeras dah.mak mertua nampak mesti keciwa.habislah.siapa na kawin i mcm nie.saham i dah turun =(

-fahyie's girl-

mr potato penceria hati di kala duka.

2009-04-29T11:25:00.000+03:00

post-remedial.

balik rumah crying..yes.crying.n tried to call malaysia, tapi as always la kan.time tu na call, time tuh la line uat hal apa la itu lah. so yes.saya tak dapat call.cry lagi.

it just felt i dah lama tak pernah buat exam seteruk nie.serious.pernah la teruk.tapi mcm time tuh tak ready so dah mentally prepared apa smuer.nie cam dah study gila gila pnye siap ponteng kelas lagi so i got extra time untuk study. (yes, walaupon saya mula study jam 3 pagi di hari exam, saya still mengira kondisi i dalam keadaan well prepared and study gila gila=p)

anyways, ramai gila remedial apa smuer.so cam tadelah rasa loser sangat.ala, lab je pon.lab?the lecturer will gv u any sort of aneh2 pnye question n u got mcm 30sec je na jawab,so its all mcm siapa tulis lagi laju lepas ar.ada dulu-dulu tanye prosedur.so u bayangkan jelah u na tulis prosedur yang mcm 10-15 steps dalam 30sec.sangat la insane bagi saya but i dont know others.

so i screw up at anat n microb.as i told on the previous post (*aiceh, mcm blog sndri je,dah ar hijack blog bf) .

n it was late n panas n melekit n apa smuer.i blank.seriously.i blank.then na dibuatkan cerita menarik, doc cepatkan lagi masa.insane weh.insane gila weh.even 30 saat pon dah kelam, dia pendekkan..i dont know brapa masanye,but mmg i lupa na bernapas ar dalam tuh.sbb laju gila.

bongok ar.dia bagi mcm 9 balang chemical test.2 medium n dia bagi like 15sec mcm tuh na diagnose bacteria apa.

gila ok gila!!

n i blank kan.so yes.i tak leh jawab..*Sigh*

but my day tadelah sucks sangat sbb i jawab soalan anat tadi n i jumpe my fav mr.potato.

mr potato.penceria hati. hihihi.

mr potato adalah vesica urinaria (bladder) hidung dia prostat.matanye vesica seminalis.telinga ureter.n rambut buat sexy factor, vas deferens (sorry we're using latin here.so cam pandai2 la korunk translate sndri)

ok.mr potato aka bladder mmg sangat sexy.bukak buku anatomy.lihat kembali.serius..

i miss u faree.

2009-04-28T17:52:00.000+03:00

i miss us yang dulu.

sangat.

its been a while i tidak menceroboh blog faree.

ntah.busy with life.i dont know.i just dont know lagi.

what went wrong on huh?

im sorry.

i miss u a lot.no, i miss us yang dulu.

stupid jokes, laugh, smiles, happiness.

smuer ilang.ilaaaaang. puff!! hihi *ok, ta lawak* *sigh*

gigi baru tumbuh.

sakit gila.sampai telinga sakit...

esok remed.n i remed anat?haaA??apa haritu yang salah

n amazingly i pass histo.haaa??seriously tho??!!

aneh gila.biochem i merapik pon pass? pfftss..whatever.

saya lost.i need to take a break.

from what?i also dont know.

gilaaa messed up!!!

=(

i really need a hug from him now.badly.

-faree's once fav girl-

about time

2009-04-24T03:56:00.000+03:00

please, hentikan lah pergaduhan yang tidak membina langsung dalam blog.

ok.

2009-04-21T19:55:00.001+02:00

ok.

dah tak memberontak dah.

sedap perasaan baru bgn tido.

hihi.

lantaklah.

you

2009-04-21T15:31:00.000+02:00

i miss you. i miss you. i miss you.

and i can't get myself right.

faree, good luck on tomorrow's microbiology lab exam.

gosh i feel hollow.

sangat.

please,

give me something. tell me something. ask me something.

:(

aku rasa kelakar

2009-04-19T00:56:00.000+02:00

tempat kejadian : lab histo.

subject : histological microscopic slides of male genital system, which consists of prostate, seminal vesicle and penis.

dialogue.

XXX : faree, penis mana?
faree : sabar lah, tengah cari ni.
XXX : ala, lambat lah kau.
faree : jap jap. aku ngah cari.
XXX : faree! nak penis!
faree : (nak tersedak tapi control la) nah. tak sabar2 betol nak tgk penis.
XXX : (tengah tengok penis)
faree : suka lah tu, dah dapat penis.
XXX : senyum gaya manja. (konon)

*****

faree : eh YYY, ni apa?
XXX : (menyampuk), bulbourethral gland.
ZZZ : (sampuk juga) eh subjek arini mana ada bulbourethral gland.
XXX : eh aah. takda kat aku, aku mana tau. YYY, ni apa?
YYY : teruk la korang ni, sendiri punya pun tak tau apa. (menuju ke faree dan ZZZ)
faree dan ZZZ : terdiam.

orang arab kata raqam

2009-04-17T01:05:00.000+02:00

hidup aku sangat sibuk sekarang.
aku dah lama tak tidur petang.
aku rasa aku dah dua minggu lebih tak ponteng.
jamming utk boom! tak lama lagi. latihan harus diteruskan. ilmu mestilah ditimba.
aku sangat rindu razan.
minggu depan exam lab micro
minggu ni kena submit 3-4 assignments nye hardcopy
next sat gonna be full day, and histology presentation. nasib baik aku bentang bulbourethral glands sahaja.
pharmacology on side effects of steroids.
physiology on respiratory regulation of acid base balance.
30th gonna be horrifying midterm. thank god ada leave. which is a day before. boleh la nak stress kan kepala otak.
i think i just more than half finishing reproductive system, and dah habis endocrine. aku rasa aku paling suka endocrine ngn repro ni. sbb tu aku tak ponteng.
menstrual cycle dan ovarian cycle senang, tapi macam babi juga. tapi seronok!
bentuk organ seksual wanita seperti baju kebaya, bak kata seorang kawan baik saya. tapi anatomical position, uterus tu tengah rukuk, vagina tu kaki. so bentuk cmtu la yg membuatkan air mani bertakung. aku dok pk camne air mani pg ke uterine tube utk fertilization. baru aku tau sekarang. anatomical position uterus tuh. angle between vagina dan uterus adalah 90 tahu? dan ia dipegang erat oleh round ligament all the way up from uterus to labia majora all the way down.
mons pubis aku rasa comel.
testosterone menyebabkan pertumbuhan bulu pubis secara triangular growth, where the apex is at the belly button and the base is at the genital area.
estrogen for sure mesti nak lawan testosterone. so pubic hair on girls shows the inverted triangle appearance.
aku selalu blur nak update blog pasal apa.
jujurnya aku tak rindu malaysia langsung. tak macam tahun2 lepas, masa2 macam ni dah buat wishlist, nak beli apa and so on. i dont know why. banyak hal kot jadi kat msia. tapi egypt bosan juga summer.
aku suka diri aku yg sibuk ni. it make me think less. buat aku ada hala tuju. mcm esok ada ini ini. so hari ni kena ini ini.
aku dah lama tak bukak buku. sorg kawan aku ckp pegi lecture tu macam study. well yeah. lecture sangat membantu. sbb memories paling kuat ikut turutan is smell, then taste sbb associated ngn smell, then hearing, then sight. so kalau baca buku je, tada sense yg lain, mmg la tak ingat pe benda yg aku belajar.
aku baru tahu kalau nak beranak perempuan kena potong vaginal orifice. kalau tamo potong boleh involuntary urination and defecation.
susah nak buat anak.
aku juga tahu setiap hari lelaki menghasilkan 500 juta sperma, tetapi hanya 100 juta yang ada dalam setiap ml ejakulasi
nama saintifik air mani adalah corpora amylacia
aku perlu belajar masakan melayu, i mean how to use halia, serai, santan, daun pandan. terima kasih kawan2 perempuan ku.
aku masih sangat rindu razan syazana.
aku perlukan gitar elektrik dengan segera. gitar sekarang sudah tidak dapat memuaskan nafsu aku. sering ke rumah asab utk bermain fender jaguar beliau. oleh kerana gitar beliau awesome, kami rakan kugiran mengutuk gitar beliau defender. jari2 ku secara otomatis membentu melodi yg indah sambil menutup mata. tapi haritu aku bend putus tali bawah sebab ada dua sebab. asab pakai tali 0.9, n aku asyik sangat kot.
sekarang alexandria sudah di tahap cuaca yg selesa. bulan hadapan, bogel pun belum tentu anda tidak berhenti berpeluh.
sekarang sudah mahu musim panas, dapat dilihat pelbagai skandel baru di kalangan para pelajar. as predicted.
melihat pelajar tahun satu, aku rindu rambut panjang ku yang dibiarkan melepasi bahu.
aku kurang hisap rokok, dan paru2 aku hanya boleh bertahan ultra lights je kot. aku tidak tahu kenapa. mungkin petanda dari yang Esa untuk aku berhenti, kot.
aku stabil secara kewangan, alhamdulillah.
ye, aku rindu tiga ekor setan2 yang penghabisan di malaysia tu. sentiasa ada agenda tersendiri. aku rindu aku bangun tidur pagi2, mereka bertiga bermain permainan kanak2 di sebelah katil aku. hurm. oh, mereka selalu kejut aku tidur, dan pesan macam2.
aku tak rindu malaysia, tapi aku rindu perasaan nak balik tu. packing, beli souvenir, angkat beg berat, flights, duty free, arrival, mamak pagi esok nya. hurm.
oh ya, 29/30 july - 16 oct, in case u guys were wondering. aku malas nak balik awal, sbb last year aku balik awal gila. tp last year aku tak extend sbb aku dah pokai, perlu balik ke sini utk kembali berduit semula.
oh ya, kami di sini menerima elaun sebanyak 2300++ LE. in case u were wondering what is egypt's currency, its called egyptian pounds.
aku dah dekat tiga tahun di sini, tetapi aku masih tiada gambar2 pemandangan di sini untuk ditunjuk kepada keluarga.
aku semakin stabil dalam hidup. sekali lagi alhamdulillah.
aku sudah di tahun akhir belajar teori perubatan. tahun depan dan seterusnya aku mulai merasai kehidupan sebenar seorang pengamal perubatan. sekarang hanyalah buku dan peperiksaan, tiada aplikasi. so agak bosan lah. macam professor Wafaa' kata, u must forget. bukan u will ya, u must. so mmg normal lah kalau masuk clinical years kita akan lupa. oh prof i miss u too. oh razan, profesor ni bukan yg cantik, hot dan lawa. tak percaya tanya azreen dan nut.
ye tadi dia ajar saya (kami) levator ani, piriformis, obturator internus, sacral pleus, and most of the structures related to them.
penis ada satu akar, dan clitoris ada dua akar.
sesiapa yg jahil sangat mengenai saiz penis, panjang vagina hanyalah 4" sahaja. cukup lah tu. bagi sesiapa yang dah berkahwin, ada juga boleh merasakan denyut nadi di dalam vaginal canal. uterine artery kalau tak silap. dekat lateral fornices kot. kawan2 medik sila betulkan. aku tak stadi pun, ni hasil lectures je.
oh ya, kita ada banyak tempat untuk check pulse, bukan dekat leher dan pergelangan tangan sahaja.
aku baru tau, yg medical student tak boleh perform medical procedures or tests kat real patients, tetapi hanya kepada patung. macam inject2 tuh, tak boleh. dah grad, masa houseman baru boleh. but i dont know other medical schools macamana.
aku rasa aku macam takda life asek cakap pasal medic je. well tu je hidup aku. seronok belajar tentang diri sendiri ni.
oh ya, aku sangat rindu razan.
aku jeles dengan kedok dimana duit simpanan beliau sudah hampir mencecah 25000 LE, atau lebih. shit. bole downpayment BMW sial.
aku juga tahu insulin menyebabkan kegemukan.
pada pendapat aku, perempuan yg kurang tinggi ni sebab estrogen level tinggi. sebab estrogen mempercepatkan penyambungan epiphysis tulang, dimana tulang tidak boleh bertumbuh secara vertical.
and yes, high estrogen boleh buat kitar haid kau darah besertakan blood clot.
sebagai lelaki, aku tak boleh membayangkan gedebuk jatuh blood clot. haha. serta bagaimanakah perempuan yg mengalami kitar haid buang air besar? adakah bercampur darah dan juga. hurm, terlalu geli untuk menyambung ayat tersebut.
estrogen sangat berbahaya. yelah, nowadays ppl guna estrogen utk contraceptive pills.
80% of women presents with leiomyoma.
breast cancer is the number one cancer that kills. but lung cancer is much more dangerous. do you reckon on what i mean?
aku rindu perasaan ketika berkencan. sangat. razan u owe me an ice cream treat! a cake too. ape ntah lagi. bwek.
aku rindu razan lagi.
kami masing2 sibuk. tiada masa untuk meluangkan masa bersama. org ckp killing time together, killing boredom together. sms hanya menghubungkan kami sekarang. tetapi kami masih in contact setiap hari. wah, kalau in contact dalam istilah microbiology sangat lah berbahaya. hehe.
oh. hehe. cukup kot 50.
ok nak smoke, hot tea, piss, pray, text, then sleep. razan good luck with your gonorrhea presentation. well to inform u i got chlamydia. another STDs. yeay kami present STD!
hikhikhik. gaya gelak cinta hati saya.

the distance

2009-04-11T21:16:00.000+02:00

The sky has lost its color
The sun has turned to grey
At least thats how it feels to me
Whenever youre away
I crawl up in the corner
To watch the minutes pass
Each one brings me closer to
The time youre comin' back

I cant take the distance
I cant the miles
I cant take the time until I next see you smile
I cant take the distance
And Im not ashamed
That with every breath I take Im callin' your name
But I cant take the distance

I still believe my feelings
But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe youre close to me
But it aint close enough
Not nearly close enough

I cant take the distance
I cant the miles
I cant take the time until I next see you smile
I cant take the distance
And Im not ashamed
That with every breath I take Im callin' your name

I brave fire and I brave rain
To be by your side Id do anything
I cant take the distance

I will go the distance
I will go the miles
Thats how much you mean to me
cause I cant take the distance
I cant take these miles
I cant take the time until I next see you smile
I cant take the distance
And Im not ashamed
That with every breath I take Im callin' your name
I cant take the distance

Its hard to remember
As long as youre away
When I find solace
Theres only one way

self-titled and no pictures.

2009-04-08T23:26:00.000+02:00

suddenly in the midst of midnight i felt like i'm writing.

i'm sorry, you. i've been longing to write you long like this. a dark loneliness will only burst out all those sweet memoirs between me and you. to sleep, i hardly miss when you'll be there smiling when i wake my slit-like eyelids, smile, and said, "you snored." oh and there goes a kiss in the forehead.

writing to you can make me sleep and wanders deep in my dreams.

and thanks, for bringing me breathing, up, awaken, and alive again. you, are my heartbeat. you, are my veins. you, gets me nerves. you are my transamines. it is always had been you. the silence in the moment is breezing, like the warm winds of spring on the calm sandy beach. you drive my brain firing. your strength kicks me flying on air.

i apologize. i maybe a temper, full of them. but i am better than before. i think, at least. you, out of everyone, had seen my pages, black, and white. both sides. never had somebody got into me as deep as you do. and for that i bid you thank you. for all your forgiveness, for all your good heart, i insist on appreciating them. thanks for accepting me for who i am. for the guy who always do things safe and unriskable, you, out of everyone, had made me believe that there's something in the world that is worth fighting for.

i know, time is ahead of us. we are in our both feet now towards a better future. in time, we'll have our twisted intimacies again. in time. in fucking time.

i love you, by you. you out of everyone, is what life has to be. you complete life. not me. life itself. by being with you, i indeed live. and yes, you are unattainable and one of a kind. and that my dear, is a good damn bliss.

you are more than perfect, and more than what i had ever imagined to be someone with. sexy, smart, pretty, beauty, brains, tone, voice, smell, hair, eyes, passion, perfection, and a zillion more things would be simply enough to make me speechless and drain out my manly strength just to stare ahead of you. oh, i did, didnt i. i cant look at you in the eyes when we first met. yeah, it was embarassing. but of course, it worth the hell of the world out of it.

i maybe a kid, but i am a learning one. it grows stronger day by day. it hadnt even lasts zero for a second. you gave me the meaning of stability. hope. secure. en-closura.

i would've wanted the world. but i don't. i want you, you, and only you.

you, made me happy. you, make me happy.

and for all these years and months, i am sorry for everything. the end of this riddles is only by saying the magical, mythical three words.

i love you so much,

R.

******

missing you abroad,

F.

pengubat duka.

2009-04-01T19:34:00.000+02:00

Gibson's Epiphone SST Studio. ni mampu kot. ahaha.

Slash Les Paul Signature

The Mythical Flying V

The Tech-Savvy Dark Fire

Dark Fire, up and close

Dark Fire, with its Chameleon tone, and Robot-Technology Auto-Tuning with Multiple Presets.

*****

As for now, it's the most powerful guitar in the world.

anyone?

this is how MEN shop.

i wish someday i can only say ;

' I will only play Gibson Guitars. '

:)

i miss myself writing like this

2009-04-01T10:21:00.000+02:00

i'm tired of everything right now. with all the classes, the assignments given being undone from yet time to time. relationships. my own self. i'm tired. i'm exhausted. i just dont feel that i'm worthy of anything.

i know, i'm not good at certain things. that includes friendships. i know, i messed up. that is why, i'm now living alone like hell. i'm training myself to be lacking of company. most of people would think that my life is sad, but i dont have any other options. life is a matter of taking choices.

well, i'm reaching the age of 21. but still, i'm still like a teenager, without brains. some things i do, i thought i was plainly right. but then, it can turn out to be the sickest thing that a human being would do!

i'm sorry, i guess. i treated everybody here just as my family. my siblings. not less. not more. but well, not all people could have understand that. and of course, if i were in the 'other people' shoes, i would not have understand either.

to whom that may concern, that i hurt you badly without noticing, i'm really sorry. i suck at this. i'm good at making people hate me without noticing that i did. i just, i dont know, the right way to communicate. the limits. the borders. i'm tired of thinking too much. i'm tired of being alone. but if i tried to dip both feet, i'll end up hurting someone that matters most to me. well, i know i cant have both, or all.

again, its the matter of choices.

i'm sorry, i dont want to hurt anyone. and if i do, i'm sorry. and if you have the guts to tell me to, please do so.

i suck at explaining things. the more i explain, the more things will get worse. but without explaining things would get worse either, right?

well being alone doesnt mean as much as being in a company. i enjoyed it too. ni kawasan aku, tu kawasan kau. aku tak kacau kau, kau tak kacau aku.

yeah still, i'm sorry. this is just me. if i did cross the line, i'm sorry. if i being to good to them (her), i'm sorry. this is just me. and there's nothing that you can do about it. but i know, everyone is big enough to think what is wrong and what is right. but i think this does not apply to me. i dont know what's wrong, and what's right. when i think i'm wrong, people that surrounds me will say i'm right. and its the another way other.

to those that i hurt that associated with 'them', i'm sorry. i should learn to say no. i should learn how to not be everyone's sweetheart. they indeed do have a dear darling of their own, too. i should learn that. i should know how to say 'please, talk to him. don't talk to me.' even hell i want to help. i should learn to explain things. i'm sorry if you felt more comfortable than the one that you should be more to. i'm sorry that i suck. i'm sorry that i'm great at hurting people, involuntarily. or voluntary, i dont know.

but my actions was pure in nature, and good at heart. i didnt mean to hurt anyone. cliche, mock. cliche. maybe i am a people's person. maybe people do love to talk to me. maybe i am that awesome. but i guess i'm not capable of saying that. i'm not proud of my awesome-ness, i hated it. if i'm not this good, i wont hurt people. i wont lose friends, i wont lose girlfriends. boyfriends too.

and for now i think i'll sat down peacefully, be alone, and let the world go take its course. i dont care anymore. i moved on.

i'm tired of crying and screaming when i slept. i'm tired gazing myself on the black dark ceiling in my empty room thinking things that i should not think of. i'm tired of trying to know where did i do wrong, and where did i do right. it affected my self-esteem greatly. i'm not the one people expect me to be. i miss my self confidence. i miss my ability to make i'm being heard. its finally to late for anything.

i'm tired. exhausted. and i'm going to explode. the time bomb in my head needs refusing, alas i'll burst into a million pieces. no one will take credit, wouldn't they?

haha.

ok world, u won. do everything u must to me. i'll accept. you are the man, right?

i suck. god. help.

kuasa tuhan

2009-03-27T13:24:00.000+02:00

can i just kill myself, and start over on EVERYTHING?

somewhat surprising

2009-03-26T01:02:00.001+02:00

well because of some unintentionally circumstances,

i merely managed to only smoke a cigarrete today.

wow.

tahan. tahan. fari, u'll die earlier.

anggap la rokok macam babi. tu la pendapat paling senang bila aku tanye ustaz kat sini. kenapa babi? bukan arak, bukan zina? sbb bende lain tu skang takde dah org kesah. kalo babi cm ade geli effect la. agak la bile mengapplykan bende nih kepada rokok. ada gakla rasa bersalah bila coba menyedot.

ala. datang pula housemate tersayang offer a pack or marlboro reds and kent futura.

dengan dialog femes "mock, takyah la buang masa. meh meh isap rokok kita borak2 meh. sedap ni dgn coke ni."

eff ohh eff.

macamana ni kalau hidup dalam rumah yg ada unlimited-cheap-nasty supplies of cigs?

seriously deep shit.

susah ah weh.

so saya hisap 3 batang hari ni. sikit gila! kalau kawan2 tau ni mau kene "mock pussy! mock pussy!" kat lecture hall. yelah. apa apa lah.

btw fari tolong cepat sembuh. someone's craving for u.

hee.

:)

amazing

2009-03-17T19:47:00.001+02:00

there's nothing ronald mcdonald cant fix.

:)

haiyooo!!!

2009-03-17T17:14:00.000+02:00

fareee.

internet saya sucks~

saya surry~

i mish u sangatlah!!!!

bodo pnye internet!! tanak kawan internet!! bwek!! bwek!!! benci benci.

exam besok.haish.remed la nampaknye *sigh*

ok ok!! saya janji urogenital saya buat betul betul!!

tak tipu tak tipu!! heee~ =p

today

2009-03-17T16:53:00.000+02:00

hari ini sangat palat.

the lucky one

2009-03-16T20:57:00.000+02:00

ok. ada sebuah cerita.

A - a junior new cummer. by cum i mean he's a man.
B - some random girl. HOT, presumably by C.
C - kickass awesome eyes melting confident strong beautiful queen of heart one of a kind
princess. which is a friend of A. a good friend i suppose.
D - just plainly a lucky bastard who have C. ok D is a guy, and C isnt a lesbo. setahu D lah. ehe.

ok. here the story goes.

A was trying to hookup with B, and by doing so he wants to tell C that he's also a man.

that he doesnt need rubber to stay in the game.
that he doesnt ejects prematurely.
that he's not gay.

but i'm pretty sure that A doesnt need C's approval though. kenapa perlu approval C?

so once upon a time, in a place far far away from here, A, B, and C met up. and they were happy. A was boyisly handsome, B was a lightstruck at sight, C was as always, impermeable and speechless. C was gorgeous. nganga drooling punya gorgeous. back then C was always taunting A about his darkest secrets, giggled with B, even bond nice with the three of them. yeah, C sangat awesome kan? not even guys will take their shades off to see a flick of C's butt, but even the females would breathe deeply and giggled when heavenly gestures of C fought to their sight. we all know D do.

ahah.

C's a male and female magnet. and we know that D has been magnet-ized. every time C and D had their "moment", they magnet. magnet, huh? a verb now.

ok. stupid crap. so, after the ABC threesome, bukan air batu campur ok. ok after the threesome, back home a few days later, B clinched up a break up situation with A, which they does not even last weeks. and to clarify, recently A told C, that C is the MAIN reason for their break up.

kesian C. tak salah apa apa pun.

so what do u think happened?

a. C mmg awesome?
b. C terlalu awesome?
c. C brings the ghosts out of everybody's gf?
d. C is irresistable?
e. there's a personal problem between A and B which involves both their sexual organs.
f. A doesnt bone.
g. B's a psych.
h. i dunno, u readers tell me. answer all u want. :p

******

hey wait up!

tapi, ape cerita pula dgn D?

what about him?

like i said,

he's just the lucky bastard who's typing this in front of his monitor while sipping a cup of coffee and exhales smoke cynically.

hiks.

tagged by anis - picture of the year.

2009-03-13T13:42:00.001+02:00

1.Go to your photos folder in your computer.

2.Go to the 6th folder of photos.

3.Go to the 6th picture in that folder.

4.Put the picture on your blog and describe about it.

5.Invite six friends to join the challenge.

6.Link them in your blog and let them know they have been challenged.

oh and the pic selected is :

well this picture is taken in 2007. late. november i think. i'm standing in front of king farouk's palace, right here in alexandria. well, only 20mins drive from home.

now, can u see the tower behind me? and that's the entrance.

this is a must-tourist-spot in Alexandria. why?

because king farouk is one of the legendary ruler here. istana dia sangat luas ok. i came in at 11am, and i pass way back to the entrance again at 9pm. dalam istana dia ada hotels semua. yep, and people usually choose to drive, rather than walking..

oh, and the most fascinating thing is, the area that surrounds the palace is full of grape trees. ntah, pohon anggur ke? budak alex kalo baca betul kan lah. the locals said that one tree resembles one maiden (gundik) of the king. well surely, i gave up counting. sangat banyak.

as u continue walking, u'll find a junction (macam the road not taken la). and kat junction tu, ada mcd. so kalo penat, bole la beli vanilla sundae with caramel topping (malaysia tada ini) or milkshake to pump up ur energy to walk around.

one road leads way up the hill to the castle, while one leads to the end of the area towards the castle's lighthouse.

if u chose the hill, u'll be able to see the vast oceans and seas here in alexandria. feel the ocean's breeze. the smell. sgt tenang ok. but kalau pergi lighthouse, bole tgk ketangguhan istana tu yg berdiri di atas bukit. and small boats fishing~

i'm lucky when i went here last time, because there's sunset, and rainbow. uuu~

and when night falls, lampu2 sangat cantik. masa malam, ramai lah couples datang. macam eiffel tower la pula :p

well itu sahaja lah. die mintak satu gambar je kan. nak bagi banyak2, nanti tak ikut rule pula.

hurm nak tag sapa ye.

semua org yg membaca lah.

:)

BCL atau J.CO atau belajar?

2009-03-13T11:33:00.000+02:00

sekali lagi.stuck. bunga citra lestari vs j.co vs belajar.

jawapannyer adalah :

tidur.

senin exam radiology n bunyi bunyian.

rabu theory.

dan sejak dari haritu mengalami cobaan gagal untuk belajar dengan gigih.

pening memikirkan penyelesaian.

tidur lagi baik.

MeL si pOndAn

2009-03-13T11:14:00.000+02:00

aku kesedihan. Mati mati aku ingat dia pompuan, dan aku selama ini didik dia mcm anak perempuan aku sendiri, skali lepas diconfirmasi oleh cik botak, rupa2nya dia lelaki.

sorry momel.

mama alpa.

harap2 kau membesar tidak menjadi pondan.

jadi aku tukar nama kau dari MomEL menjadi MeL.so lepas ni ko bole ngorat anak dara untie anis and sarah dengan bergaya nya. tapi mama nak pesan, jgn ngorat yang lelaki ya momel, opss,MEL, ngorat yang perempuan!!! kalau tak mel tak bole balik umah..hIHI.

spring

2009-03-12T19:39:00.000+02:00

****

jom pergi pantai?

:)

morning makassar munchkin

2009-03-12T11:41:00.000+02:00

you shone me like my morning sun
your strength makes the world go full and glow
your smiles could've made me reach the stars

*****

oh, hai co-owner.

:)

haih

2009-03-12T00:44:00.000+02:00

aku bosan dah membelog.

sume pun susah.

p/s : susah juga nak jaga anak perempuan.

:(

dear ex

2009-03-11T16:29:00.000+02:00

thanks.

i appreciate it.
i'm still sorry, and i still will be through life.
i hope everything goes well for you, and you have a wonderful life.

i'm glad.

well if there's a slut word for man, i'll be it.

i'm sorry.

thanks, again.

sniff sniff.

2009-03-11T12:16:00.001+02:00

hush hush.

uuu~

:)

holiday

2009-03-11T02:24:00.000+02:00

cuti.
hidup sangat lah seronok.
membosankan.
tapi seronok.
tak perlu lagi buka buku baca macam nak mati.
hidup bermalas malasan sangat seronok.
tak perlu fikir apa2 pun.
bebas.

so tadi pergi tgk movie. cerita the tale of ape ntah. cite cartoon. tak best sangat, tapi cerita tu relaxing. tak stress tgk. well saya suka je macam tu.

pics post-watching ;

ehe.

haha.

fari.

faten.

remy. dia single. :p

p/s : time ni ada lagi dua org, tp biasa lah, org bercinte mana nak tgk skali. mereke tgk cite lain. berdua satu cinema. uuu~

******

haha. cerita tu kitorg bertiga je tgk. pernah dulu kitorg tgk cerita hantu. bes gila menjerit2 dan bertukar tempat duduk dam melompat2.
alexandria ni mmg best kalau honeymoon. the seas and oceans, the beaches, the bridges, the breezes, even mmg kalo pg weekdays kat movie, mmg kosong. bole la tgk movie tu dua org dgn yg tersayang dlm satu cinema.
nak buat macam ni kat klcc, mid valley ngn pavi? harapan la kan.

puteri, datang ye nanti.

i'm sorry after last night. it was wonderful. sangat.

*ohh angau*

and yet u and i, biasalah. time difference.
ur birthday parties and my night outs.
ta dapat bersama lama lama.
i'll make it up to u. bukan make up ye.
promise.

by the way, i love ur hair. sangat. makes me wanna uuuu~ takleh cakap. na gamba!

(padahal bole je nak snap thru webbie, tp dah lama ta jadi camwhore, kang jeles)
:p

the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak

2009-03-06T17:13:00.000+02:00

pagi kene bangun pukol 3. so now kene tido..

pneumonia vs fareeee

pilihan yang rumit..terlampau rumit....tapi respi kene A.mesti A.sebab?sbb aku awesome.tiada sebab lain. ye, saya bukan faree.obviously duhh..farree tak belajar.n fari tak bangun pukol 3 pagi.dem u fari.kenapa aku yang kene bangun 3 pagi.ye, sbb aku gf yang baik + awesome.heheh.saya hanya bercanda cik fari.i heart u.

aku tak tau kenapa aku suke guna awesome lately.mungkin aku terlalu awesome?tidak lansung..

bila na belajar ni beb.erghh.....bosan ar.tido

saya lah penceroboh.

2009-03-06T14:53:00.000+02:00

saya ceroboh masuk blog farreee...agak2 kantoi tak?

saya rasa tidak!! sbb takkan la farree bace blog diri sndri.gila obses kat diri.hahahaha

saya saaaayaang farreee!!!

-fahyiee's girl-

2009-03-04T12:47:00.000+02:00

lihat gambar ini sambil dgr

purest of pain - son by four

huu.

tersenyum tertawa menangis sendirian.

imysm

triad of faree cycle

2009-02-25T04:51:00.000+02:00

kitar hidup.

bangun 2pm. aitelepon mesti ada 2-3 msg. dari puteri.

mandi, surf, solat, lados, tgk movie baru habis download, study sikit (skimming@selak2 bak kata puteri ; sikit lah sangat), dinner, appulo.us, facebook. call puteri, tidurkan. she's a baby u know.

:p

smpi 7-8pm.

bola sepak. spanish liga, epl, champions league, uefa. time ni tiada puteri, sbb dia dah tidur. hee.

10pm.

call puteri. kejot. i cant start revising without her sulky voice. antara hidup mati. turun umah bawah. belajar. ada rezeki sms ngn puteri. smpi subuh. belajar dgn kedok. kami tgk house kalau pembelajaran kami pada malam itu ada kaitan dgn penyakit dlm cerita house. tgk house, sambil bukak buku. *geek* hardisk 1.5 tera. ape pun ada. kalah kedai dvd makassar. :p

5am.

tamat stadi, naik atas, call puteri, kacau dia. then tidur dgn senyuman. she's like a drug which stabilizes my new short term memory into parts and racks into my brain.

kalau ada exam, study start from 8pm, smpi 2am. ulang. ulangkaji bukan ulang tahun.

bgn 7am, aitelepon dideringkan oleh puteri. i baby jugak ke? :p

exam jam 9am. sblm tu ulang lah apa belajar semalam.

i aced the exam.

tapi, kalau cycle ini terganggu, results untuk yg terakhir (i aced the exam) pasti berubah.

seperti juga cycle arbovirus, dan juga cycle of elimination/eradication of diseases. *nerd*

balik exam qada tido.

see puteri, i need u. kalau tak ;

gila tiada life.

(i love you)

coffee bean

2009-02-21T00:16:00.000+02:00

because tumoro is the big day for some pharmacological big ass test, i'd like to spit some beans on coffee. or caffeine. i found it very interesting though.

lets start with its effects on the human body.

in CNS,
1-2 cups of coffee would cause diminished fatigue, improved concentration, and clear flow of thoughts. as in my point of view, before start writing any songs, journals, blogs, enithing, its good to take a good sip of coffee.

in GIT,
or the gastrointestinal tract, caffeine stimulates the secretion of hydrochloric acid, which is important for digestion and for the acidic medium for stomach enzymes to optimisely react. therefore, dont take coffee in an empty stomach. gastritis (or fellow malaysian used to call "aku gastrik ah. mc bole?") and peptic ulcer would occur as conjunction to stressful individuals. well hyperacidity is one of the factors, right?

in smooth muscles,
it mainly emphasise in the bronchial muscles, which relax it. in other words it make breathing's easy.

in kidney,
has a small effect on diuretic action. thus increasing urinary output of all the toxins we have in our body. so a cup of coffee after a meal isnt so bad after all, right?

what i mean by post prandial (after eating) is, insomniac properties of coffee will prevent u from getting sleepy after a meal. well, after eating a meal, our body will increase blood flow to our digestive system, thus decreasing blood supply to the brain, causing sedation. sama la kalo org tak cukup darah kat otak mesti pengsan. but in this case its not strong enough to cause cerebral hypoxia. so having coffee wont let u sleep thereafter, and can concentrate in doing works after eating! heee.

drug combo.
try this. having sumone bugging u about nasty headaches? try having 2 pills of panadol, with coffee instead of water. just try. may sound crazy, but it works.

side effects.

insomnia. agitation. headaches in person taking more than 3 cups of coffee per day. but what the hell, take ur cup of coffee and some white pills, u'll be okay.

if u google something about nicotine (smoking), u'll find some good about smoking is the same as caffeine. apart from the small lung carcinoma, i mean. because my ears will always ringing if someone says smoking's bad. ada jugak bagus nya ok. nak tau, carik sendiri. ingat aku smoke main hentam pengaruh kawan stress ke apa ke?

haha ada la sikit.
:p

so smoking + coffee after eating, should be a good combo to start a heavy session of memorising thick medical books.

third years fac of medicine alexandria university, i bid u all good luck for tomorrow. dah lebih separuh dah perjalanan kita nak jadi docs. next sem, repro. woo hoo! =ppp

incoming

2009-02-20T22:54:00.000+02:00

esok pharma

puteri, get well soon.

saya risau.

its v-day, and i screwed up physiology.

2009-02-14T12:40:00.000+02:00

as predicted, and expected.

FAILED.

tp tak fail kot. bole la lulus. alaaa tp tanak lulus. nak A tu mmg tak de harapan la kan.

btw : A = 95, A- = 90, B+ = 85, B = 80, B- = 75. yg lain tatau sbb ta pernah dapat. fail = bawah 60.

nak 4 flat? sume subject (ada sepuluh ok) kena 95 above. mati la macam ni!

haih.

physio oh fisio.

mengape lahhh.

the mystery

2009-02-11T00:04:00.000+02:00

It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery
how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It
is a mystery why some love grows and it is a
mystery why some love fails. You can analyze this
mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you
will never do anymore than take the life out of the
experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum
of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses
in the body, love is more than the sum of interests
and attractions and commonalities that two people
share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes
and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of
love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that
cannot be questioned in its ways.

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life. the gift of love
will come to you in full flower, and you will take
hold of it and celebrate it in all inexpressible
beauty. This is the dream we all share. More often,
it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for
a brief moment, then move on. When this happens
to young people, they too often try to grasp the
love and hold it to them, refusing to see that is
freely given and a gift that just as freely, moves
away. When they fall out of love, or the person
they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try
desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather
than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving
on. They want answers where there are no
answers.

They want to know what is wrong in them that
makes the other person no longer love them, or
they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if
some small things were different, love would bloom
again. They blame their circumstances and say
that if they go away and start a new life together,
their love will grow. They try anything to give
meaning to what has happened. But there is no
meaning beyond the love itself, and until they
accept its own mysterious ways; they live in a sea
of misery.

You need to know this about love, and to accept it.
You need to treat what it brings you with kindness.
if you find yourself in love with someone who does
not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is
nothing wrong with you. Love just didn’t choose to
rest in the other person’s heart. If you find
someone else in love with you and you don’t love
him, feel honored that love came and called at your
door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return.
Do not take advantage ; do not cause pain. How
you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all
our hearts feel the same pains >and joys, even if
our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love
with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not
try to reclaim it or to assess blame. Let it go.
There is a reason and there is meaning. You will
know in time. Remember that you don’t choose
love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is
accept it for all its mystery when it comes into
your life.

Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach
out and give it away. Give it back to the person
who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who
deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around
you in anyway you can. There is where many
lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love,
they understand love only as a need. They see
their hearts as empty places that will be filled by
love, and they begin to look at love as something
that flows to them rather than from them. The first
blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as
their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as
a need. They cease to be someone who generates
love and instead become someone who seeks love.

They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift,
and that it can be made to grow only by giving it
away. Remember this, and keep it your heart. Love
has its own time, its own seasons, and its own
reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it
or coerce it, or reason it into staying.

You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it
comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your
heart or from the heart of your lover, there is
nothing you can do and there is nothing you
should do. Love always has been and always will
be a mystery.

Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your
life. IF YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN IT WILL
COME AGAIN

enough

2009-02-10T22:00:00.001+02:00

songs in the air : good enough - sarah mclachlan

deeply inside me

i've had enough with beautiful or pretty girls

wether with brains, or just dumb

i just think that they are not my type of a girlfriend material

hari jadi syairah azman. kesian, bday time finals

2009-02-10T18:57:00.001+02:00

my fav cappuccino. ade dua love. so even tengah bermajlis keramaian, masih teringat pada chenta hati yg gigih belajar di seberang-seberang-seberang laut.
jauh tu.
(ouh imysm!)

(padahal ai-talipon asek bervibrate, main sms ngn puteri)

:p

musyrif la kononnye

geng section 4. azreen, qiqi, nik arip etc.
ternampak dari jauh

baiti ngn ira (budak umo 21)

faten fathonah ngn faten farhana. masa exam, mereka ni dok dekat ngn aku. blakang dan tenggara. sbb dlm arab, fari, faten, farah, smua bermula ngn huruf 'faa'.

sebelum makanan sampai. lapar gila

*****

event's photos are taken in san stefano mall - foodcourt and costa coffee.
post histology final exam.
oh lupa. teka lah amek pakai camera apa.

:p

selamat hari lahir

2009-02-09T18:55:00.001+02:00

ira dan joe

happy 21

boleh sama pula birthday korang.

all the best.

post mortem anatomy

2009-02-07T22:08:00.000+02:00

well anatomy was wonderful. for the first time in my medical years, i answered the questions with colorful diagrams and fully-labeled. well of course, there's two-to-three mistakes that is unaccounted for, but then, i'm proud of my hard works.

well what seemed to be wrong is, i cant give the perfect answer for the last question. it regards the embryological development of the tongue. well, i didnt even read about it though. and in fact i didnt have an embryology text book (sorry yang, saya nakal) so i just stated the most famous answer in embryological questions, which in congenital anomalies : Agenesis, which means failure of development (conjuncts all congenital anomalies). whilst writing, some answers just slipped through the corner of my mind, (oh tq God) which was macroglossia, microglossia and bifid tongue. well i hope i get half a mark for that questions. tulah degil lagi tanak baca.

i nailed all the previous questions, siap bagi clinical point lagi. well i hope finals will be far more brighter than this. next, histology. well, i didnt have much affection for this subject, but alas, it does carry my grade though. so all in all terpaksa juga.

puteri mesti suka subject ni, sbb lukis2 kaler2. tp kesian dia, exam dia mcq je. tiada warna warna :p

heaven and hell alike

2009-02-05T17:37:00.000+02:00

u went through hell
i went through hell
we went through hell

thus

congrats a bunch of jellies and teddy bears!

worth it, ain't it?

:)

maju setapak kehadapan

2009-02-05T02:59:00.001+02:00

the iBluetooth-blue sn0w project

:)

waktu kita sama lari lari

2009-02-04T19:01:00.000+02:00

imysm.

angkat lah phone biru kamu.

i hope u are indeed safe and sound.

jgn nakal nakal dan semoga berjaya.

its a hell of a week for both of us.

finals, and new semester.

all the best!

:)

lepas blaja

2009-02-03T15:51:00.000+02:00

i think the most dangerous thing is herpes. carrier rate is very sky high, without symptoms. genital herpes on the other hand, ugh. even i yg gila ini scared. 10% can be transmitted by kissing, wth?

oh. lupakan tu.

facts i found interesting in physiology :

there is a close and strong relation between smell and sexual drive and libido.
the sense of smell is more acute among women, rather than men. in women, it is more stronger during ovulation.
ovulation = stronger olfactory sense = rather peak in sexual desire? women turned on easily by smell? well science doesnt lie. nasib baik saya ngn puteri jauh. kalau tidak..
person in common colds usually thought that they had lost their sense of taste, but scientifically speaking, taste and smell pathway are merely different. this illustrates that actually when we are tasting, we are smelling. because food odours can be trasmitted above to the olfactory receptors in the nasal cavity, which is a thousand to one in power ratio to taste receptors. oh logically smell is lost during common cold is because congestion of the bony sinuses of the face by excessive secretion, due to protection.
well of course, when we're in a cold, blood vessels in the nasal region which contain blood, which is full of nutrients and antibodies, constrict. defensive mechanism is lowered in this area thus making it permeable to infection. thus our body secrete mucus to trap the foreign bodies, to stop or slowing the spread of infectious materials. yeah, just above the nasal cavity is our precious brain, aint it?

*****

i think that's why, sumtimes when women felt they smell bad, unlikingly to men they do smell really good. but when men is in the same situation, its going to be the other way around, i think.

best of lucks.

:)